Cigarette Burns
by Daddy's Little Cannibal
Summary: AH. Bella is a local junkie and Edward is a famous artist. He meets Bella outside of one of his art shows and she ends up going home with him. ExB.
1. Chapter 1

I know that this was posted on Bronzehairedgirl620's profile, but we both decided that it would be better to post it on Stephanie's profile, since it is her story. This is the original Cigarette Burns. Make sure to review.

"Drugs have taught an entire generation of American kids the metric system."  
-P.J O'Rourke

**Cigarette Burns**

"Stop hovering over me!" I yelled at Mike as I cut the rock of coke.

"Let me do it." Mike reached for the razor in my hands.

"Move your hand another inch and I slice off a finger," I snapped as I raised my razor in the air, warningly. He pulled back his hand. "Besides, last time someone else cut up the coke, they didn't cut it fine enough and I got a rock stuck in my nostril. Now shut up or you get shit."

He sat back on the couch and lit a cigarette. My hands were shaking with anticipation as I continued to cut the coke. Coke, or cocaine, was my drug of choice, everything else was nice, but nothing tasted as sweet as the numbness you get from coke. The minute it hits your veins its like adrenaline rush, nothing else feels like it. Not even meth can match up to what coke does to you.

A small piece fell onto the side of the table near me. I fought the urge to lick it, wanting just a teaser of what was about to come. I looked at Mike; he was staring at me with hawk eyes. I sighed and pushed it back with the others with my razor. "Fuck," I whispered to myself as I started chopping the lines again. A rock star line for him and a rock star line for me, that was the deal, we were going to share it fifty, fifty.

"Fuck it." I screamed, throwing the razor on the table when the lines were straightened out. "Mike, pick your line, so you know I didn't jizz you."

He crawled to the coffee table and examined the lines. I kept an eye on him as I reached into my pocket for a tampon. He was examining the lengths as I unwrapped it. "Hurry up! I don't have all fucking day," I ushered him.

He pointed the one closes to him. I nodded and pulled out the tube that pushes the cotton into the vagina. My hands were still shaking.

"What is that for?" He asked. I looked at him, this was the first time he snorted coke with me. He had a lot to learn.

"You're using this to snort it." I said stuffing the plastic tube up his nose. He pulled it out and stared at it, disgusted. "Don't worry I haven't used it and I don't plan onto now that it's been up your nose."

"Why don't we just use money?" He asked still staring at the plastic tampon inserter.

"One. I don't have any money. Two. It's easier because the coke doesn't get stuck in cracks like it does when you use bills. Now snort up your line or else I'm snorting it up for you."

He sighed before leaning down, the end of the tube stuck up his nose. I laughed to myself; it was always funny watching guys stick tampons up their nose while snorting coke.

Mike inhaled, I could see the coke fly into the tube up his nose he cleaned the line in one try. He pulled the tube out of his nose and sniffed loudly.

"Lift up your head." I told him. I looked up his nose to see if there was still any left in his nostrils, they have a tendency to hide in people's nose hairs. I leaned over the coffee table and put my fingers on the bridge of his nose. "When I push up I want you to sniff hard." He nodded. I pushed up he started to sniff, I could see his body jerk as his eyes widened.

"Fuck." He screamed.

I smiled as I pulled my fingers from his nose. I licked my finger and ran it over the line that he just snort picking up little pieces of the coke. He looked at me. "Open your mouth." He did and I stuck my finger in his mouth, moving it over his gums and tongue. He jerked his head back. Mike wasn't new to coke; he's just never done it right. I was taught by the best so I knew what I was doing.

"Where did you learn all of this?" He asked, shaking from the adrenaline rush.

I smiled. "Years of practice." I said as I leaned over my line, my tampon in my right nostril pushed on my left nostril and started to sniff hard, the coke flew into my nose and my body jerked from the contact. I finished the line and threw my head back sniffing hard. I pushed the bridge up my nose up and sniffed again. My shoulders jerked up as the coke invaded my blood stream. I ran my finger across the table where my line used to be and stuck it in my mouth. The numbness hit instantly. I bit my tongue and looked at Mike. "I fucking love coke."

He laughed and I followed along.

--

"Fabulous Edward, fabulous." Professor Higgins congratulated me, again. He patted my shoulder. "Where do you get your inspiration?"

I shrugged and stared back at the painting. It wasn't one of my favourites; in fact it was my least favourite. If I had my choice it would be burned at the stake. It was just a painting of the hotel I was staying at, nothing unique or significant about it, but people all over the world were praising thousands of dollars to hang it up in their living rooms. I was thinking about placing money on it just to burn it.

"Thanks, Professor Higgins." I smiled at him, realizing that a shrug was rude. "A lot of things inspire me; it's not fair to only point out one." He laughed and patted my shoulder again, before taking two glasses of champagne, handing one to me.

"That's my boy." He smiled, clinging his glass with mine and taking a big gulp. I followed his lead, holding my lips shut, I was never much of a drinker, the taste of alcohol made me sick, but I pretended to drink the carbonated liquor to please one of my favourite clients. "Carlisle, you have a special boy on your hands," he yelled out to my adoptive father when he was done. I turned around to see Carlisle wrap his arm around me.

"I know," Carlisle smiled giving me a tight hug. I smiled at him before politely excusing myself from their company. I dropped the champagne glass on a table and weaved my way through the crowd. Smiling and thanking random guests for coming. I walked out of the front door when I was sure no one was paying attention. I needed some fresh air.

--

I stood outside the art studio, a small smile crossing my lips. Mike kicked me out of his apartment. His girlfriend was coming home soon. She didn't know about the drugs, so I was never allowed over there when she was around. It used to bother me, but not anymore. No one likes a drug addict, we lie, steal, cheat- anything to get our fix. A lot of people think we're stupid, we're not stupid, we know what we're doing, and we take advantage of everyone that we can, that's our job. I'm not proud of what I am. Before I started drugs, I had family, friends, and a place to stay. But that all went away the first time I smoked meth.

I was coming off the coke. That always made me feel like shit. I ran my hand through my hair. The only problem with coke is it never lasts long enough, you get the greatest skitz of your life and within the hour, you're coming down faster than an airplane on 9-11.

The door opened. I jumped and looked to see who was coming out. A tall bronze haired man walked out, he smiled at me before looking at the ground. I smiled back and blushed as I reached in my pocket for a cigarette, trying to distract myself. I pulled out a Camel Frost and was about to light it when I realized that my lighter was at Mike's house. I cussed softly to myself, before turning to the man that was walking past me.

"By any chance do you have a light?" I asked.

He stopped in mid step and looked at me. "You know that smoking is bad for you, right?"

I rolled my eyes; I didn't bother to respond with a comment. You always had one good law abiding citizen that had to put their two cents into your life. I shook my head and walked off.

"Wait." he called after me.

I turned around to see him pull out a lighter; it was one of those lighters that you get at Spencers, the one that can be used more than once as long as you had lighter fluid. I smiled at him as he lit my cigarette for me; I took a drag, letting the tar fill my lungs.

I pulled the cigarette away from the flame and pulled it out of my mouth, letting out the smoke from my lungs. My body started to relax. "Thanks," I continued to smile. I leaned up against the wall; he followed my lead standing next to me. I stared at him through the corner of my eye. "Why do you carry around a lighter if you don't smoke?" I asked. I wasn't a big fan of awkward silences.

He shrugged. "In case anyone asks for a lighter. You meet a lot of interesting people that way." He shot a glance towards me. I rolled my eyes as I shook my head.

"Do you always give the 'you know it's bad for you' speech before you give someone a lighter?" I asked, taking another drag out of my cigarette.

He shrugged. "Depends on the person."

"I guess I'm lucky." I mumbled as I let out the smoke.

"You know what's ironic?" he asked, staring at the steet in front of him. He was smiling to himself. I and shook my head. "I came out here for fresh air," he laughed as he looked back at me.

I laughed along with him. It wasn't that funny and if anyone else told me that I would have said something smart, but he was really cute. "Nice." I mumbled. He chuckled before sliding to the ground. I did the same, stretching my legs out in front of me. "So, you a big fan of art?" I decided to further the conversation. He shrugged. "You like shrugging don't you?"

He blushed. "Habit, I never talked much during high school, so I shrugged a lot. I try not to do it as much because it's rude, but it's hard to break a habit sometimes."

I nodded, looking at my cigarette. I could understand having a hard time breaking a bad habit.

"Besides you can tell a lot from a person by how they react to a shrug."

I laughed. "How? You've caught my interest."

"Like take you for example, you don't take a shrug for an answer, that means you're head strong and determined. As for people who do take shrugs for an answer, they're usually laid back and go with the flow," he explained I smiled slightly to myself.

"That was actually kind of clever," I nodded. "But you never answered my question."

He laughed. "Yes, I am into art."

"See? Was that so difficult?" I teased. "All of that for a four word sentence."

He rolled his eyes. I finished off the rest of my cigarette before pulling myself to my feet. He got to his feet shortly after I did. Standing next to him I felt like a Smurf. He was at least six feet tall. "Are you a fan of art?" he asked, brushing off the imaginary dirt off his black slacks.

I shrugged, realizing what I did, we both laughed. "I am a big fan of art; I just suck at drawing. An untrained monkey could draw better than me."

He smiled. "Would you like to join me then?"

I stared at him through squinted eyes. "This isn't going to be one of those moments where I'll wake up in the morning strapped to the bed naked, is it?" I asked.

He shook his head.

"Can it be?" I joked, smiling.

He laughed as he led me to the art studio. I was the kind of person that trusted everyone they met. When I was little, I almost got in a car with a group of strange men because they told me they were looking for their lost dog. They were about to drive off when a police officer pulled me out and asked if I knew the men. I shook my head and started crying, thinking that _I_ was the one in trouble.

--

"What about this one?" I asked her. She was the most interesting women to ever cross this Earth. I stared at her as her eyebrows squinted together, she tightened her lips. Her facial expressions were adorable.

"It's just a painting of a hotel room. What's so great about this? I can see a copy of something like this in _any_ fancy bathroom." She turned to me as she spoke.

Most artists would be offended by her remarks, but I thought they were amazing and unique. I laughed as she looked around the room at the other paintings. I had to agree with her, this was not one of my favourite paintings, either.

"I love your opinions," I said as she looked at it again.

She smiled and turned to me, she had the most beautiful brown eyes. "Thanks, most people think they're silly, and uneducated."

I shook my head. "Silly, maybe, but definitely not uneducated."

She went back to staring at the paintings. She kept her hands behind her back. She reminded me of a five year old on a trip to an art museum. I fought the urge to go hold her hand so she would have a buddy. I looked around the studio, Emmett, my adoptive brother, was winking at me lifting his champagne glass in the air. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. He laughed, which I could have sworn made the chandelier shake.

She turned to me. "Did he just wink at you?"

I nodded. Her eyes widened in surprise, realization hit me. "It's not like that!" I added quickly.

She giggled. "Sure it isn't." Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

"It's not," I said again, feeling embarrassed. "He's my adoptive brother, who has an imagination that likes to run with him." I shot him a glare, he laughed again.

She smiled and shook her head. "Your personal lifestyle is just that, yours."

I rolled my eyes. She was making fun of me. She stopped in front of a painting, her eyes widened. I smiled, this one was my favourite. She kept her hands behind her back as she gawked at it. I leaned close to her. "You like it?" I whispered I was afraid if I spoke too loud I would frighten her.

She nodded. "It's beautiful," she gaped.

"It's a painting of my mother, before she died. It's one of my favourites." She turned around so fast that she almost ran into me. Her eyes were still wide with amazement.

"Your mother?" She asked.

I nodded.

"You're Edward Cullen?" She almost screamed.

I nodded. "The one and only," I smirked.

Her face turned red and her jaw dropped. "You got to be shitting me!"

I laughed. "Now that you know who I am, who are you?" I asked, I forgot to ask her name earlier and I was wondering about it all night. I felt that this was the perfect time to ask, so I didn't have to nickname her 'that girl.'

"Bella, Bella Swan." She handed me her hand.

I smiled and shook it. "Nice to meet you, Bella Swan."

--

I spent the night with Edward Cullen. Part of me was thinking that I was having an acid flashback, the other part didn't fucking care it was Edward Cullen. He was a child prodigy, to say the least. I don't know the story of his life. I just knew that he was well known and could play the piano just as well as he could paint.

People stared at us, but most of them kept their distance. I knew that they probably didn't want to talk to me. I didn't look so great today. My hair was dirty, my clothes smelled funny, and I had bruises running on the side of my neck. Word of advice, never call your drug dealer a crack smoking monkey. They don't seem to like that too much.

He led me outside as everyone evacuated the building. He pulled out his cell phone; I stared at the silver razor, jealousy piercing through my veins. "It's getting late…" he trailed off.

I nodded knowing that the tour ends here. "Thanks for the tour. It was really nice meeting you."

I threw my hood over my head and started to walk off, not wanting to waste anymore time. "Wait!" He called after me.

I turned around to look at him. "Yeah?" I asked, scared that he realized that I stole his lighter out of his pocket when he wasn't looking.

"It's dangerous to walk out here alone. Do you want a ride?" He asked.

I sighed in relief. I didn't want to give back the lighter, it was too cool.

I shook my head. "No thanks, I'm not sure where I'm staying tonight anyways." Like I said, we're not stupid. We know how to play the pity act. I had him wrapped around my finger, now all he had to do was take the bait and I had a place to stay for the night. Though, I wasn't sure what the consequences would be. People aren't so generous these days.

I started to turn when he yelled at me to stop; I smiled to myself before turning around to look at him, again. He sighed. "Do you want to stay with me tonight?" he asked.

I nodded slowly; years of practice made me the queen at this game. "If it's ok with you…" I trailed off.

"It's not a problem." He smiled. My heart jumped into my throat. No trashcan fire for me tonight, and I still had a line of coke that I stole from Mike in bra. The night was looking up.

**End Chapter.**

Remember that our family reads the reviews, so please keep them clean. :)

Jo

BTW: If you apart of , head over to the "all human" section. Cigarette Burns has its own thread.


	2. Chapter 2

"I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to avoid it."  
-Sarah Silverman

**The Beautiful Disaster**

I stared at Bella as she ran around my house like a little kid in the candy store. She stared at my paintings and photographs with wide eyes, making low "ohs" and "awes." I smiled at her as I set my keys on the counter top. I decided to let her have her fun, while I went to the kitchen and made us something for dinner. I wasn't use to cooking for anyone but myself so I decided to make Hamburger Helper.

I was measuring the milk in a plastic measuring cup when Bella walked in the kitchen her eyes still wide. "Your house is fucking huge." Her voice was light with awe. I smiled as I adjusted the temperature on the gas stove. "I mean it's bigger than all the apartments I've ever been in- _combined_!" She didn't stand still as she said this.

"Carlisle picked it out for me," I said as I threw the trash away into a trash can at the end of the counter. I wasn't usually this clean but being in a presence of a lady, I wanted to give out the good impression. "Are you hungry?" I asked when I got back to the stove.

She nodded. "I'm starving."

I looked at her. "I'm not the greatest cook in the world," I admitted, blushing.

"As long as it's edible," she smiled.

"If you want, you can take a shower while I cook. I'll lie out some clean clothes for you." I was trying to sound polite. I didn't want her to think that the only reason I wanted her to take a shower is because every time I breathed through my nose, my eyes watered.

"A shower sounds great."

--

I stepped out of the shower, as Edward promised there were fresh clothes laid out on the corner of the counter that held the sink. I wrapped the white towel around my chest and dried my hair with another one. I stood in front of the mirror and wiped the steam it with my hand. When I could see my reflection, I lifted my chin so I could stare at the bruises on my neck. They were turning a green almost brown colour. I sighed and ran a finger over it, flinching slightly when I pressed too hard on a sensitive part.

It was healing. That's all that mattered. I rolled my eyes until I was looking at the floor. I skimmed over the white carpet till I found what I was looking for.

I bent over and grabbed my bra off the floor. I held it so I was staring inside of the right cup. I had sewn in a little pocket on the inside the cups so I could hide my drugs in it. I pulled out a small bag of coke and the two pennies that I hid with it. I rubbed the two pennies against the bag, scratching up the coke against each other; it's a trick I picked up. It works whenever you don't have a razor. When I was sure I was going to break up as much as I could, I dropped the contents of the bag onto the countertop.

I moved the coke into a line with my finger, careful to pick up every piece. Most people snorted it out of the bag, when they didn't have a razor, but I sucked at snorting out of bags, practice doesn't always make perfect. When I was content with the line, I ran my finger over my gums and teeth. The numbness kicked instantly. I ran my tongue over my numb gums.

I stared at the line, it was huge! I didn't realize how much I was taking from Mike when I was cutting up the rock earlier today. I smiled to myself as I pulled out a tampon from my pocket. I leaned over the line and pushed the tampon into my nose. I sniffed, holding the tampon in my right nostril, my finger on my left. The coke flew into my nose and I could feel it mix into my blood stream.

Each dealer has a special way of making coke. My old dealer use to put baby laxatives in it, after fifteen minutes you had to take a really bad dump that's how you knew it was his. I stopped going to him when he pulled a gun out on one of my friends.

My friend apparently jizzed him on weed, he paid for a twenty and he got fifteen. He got mad and pulled the gun on him. At first I was angry, but then I realized that it was Black Widow and understood where he was coming from. I stopped going to him out of respect for my friend, besides there were other places I could get coke from.

When I was finished with the line, I licked the counter top. Then I went to the bag. I flipped it inside out and ran it over my gums and tongue until I was sure it was empty. I flushed it down the toilet with my used tampon after I was finished.

I looked at myself in the mirror again. My pupils were dilated. I laughed to myself as I started to scratch my arms. My whole body was numb. I closed my eyes and leaned against the counter top. My fingers dug into the side.

Someone knocked on the door. I jumped. The paranoia was kicking in.

"Are you ok?" Edward's voice came from behind the door.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I yelled at him. I never felt so good before in my life, even though my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. "What do you want me to do with my dirty clothes?" I asked.

"I'll take them," he said.

I bent down and grabbed them. I pulled out my cigarettes and his lighter from the back pocket of my jeans. I threw the lighter behind the sink and set my cigarettes on the counter top of the sink. I opened the door and handed my dirty clothes to him.

"Here you go," I said, smiling.

He blushed. I frowned, just now noticing that my bra and panties were on top.

"Are you ok?" he asked, looking at the floor of his bathroom.

"Just fine," I said over the sound of my pounding heart. I felt like I could run a marathon. I was feeling fucking great.

Edward gave me another look before heading out of the bathroom. I closed the door behind him and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked just like I did two seconds ago when I lasted looked in it. My pupils were still dilated and I still had bruises running up my neck.

My body gave a nervous jolt as I put on Edward's clothes. He left out over sized boxers and white wife beater. You could see every cut, bruise, scratch, and cigarette burn on my arms. I rubbed my arms, self consciously.

I grabbed my cigarettes and his lighter behind the sink. I hid the lighter in the waistband of his shorts. The shirt was loose enough so he wouldn't notice that there was a bulge there. I just had to hope that it didn't slip and fall to the floor while I was walking.

I opened the door and headed towards the kitchen. I scratched my arms nervously as I walked up to him. The food was done, he handed me a blue bowl filled with meat and noodles drowned in cheese sauce. I wasn't hungry anymore but I didn't want to be rude, so I forced myself to eat.

I sat on the table next to him, he blew onto his food before taking a bite out of it. I did the same. It's weird eating while high on coke, your whole body is numb and you can't taste anything. It's like coming back from the dentist's office.

"It's not that bad, is it?" Edward asked, obviously embarrassed by his culinary skills.

I looked up at him and shook my head. "No, it's great! I'm just not as hungry as I thought I was." I sniffed and rubbed my nose.

We finished dinner in silence. Every now and then one of us would ask each other a question. It was uncomfortable and awkward, most of the time the only thing that I could hear was the sound of my heart beating against my chest.

"Do you mind?" I asked, holding up my pack of cigarettes.

He shook his head.

I got up from my chair and grabbed both of our bowls. He was finished with his and I was half way done with mine. I pushed the leftovers into the skillet and ran the bowls under the water. I always had a tendency to clean when I'm skitzing. Whenever I'm at a friend's house and we do coke (or meth) their house is usually spotless by the time I'm coming off.

I walked over to the gas stove, my hand was shaking. I turned the knob. A loud ticking noise echoed throughout the kitchen before it caught on fire. I put the cigarette to the flame and breathed in deeply. My body started to relax, but my heart still raced. Edward walked up next to me.

"Are you sure you're ok?" He asked, checking my forehead. I flinched, which made him frown. His hands were cold.

I nodded. "Never felt better," I smiled.

"You look like you're about to throw up." He frowned.

I shook my head. "I'm just tired. That's all," I lied.

"Do you want me to show you to your room?" He asked.

I shook my head. "No, I'll stay on the couch." He already gave me a place to stay, a hot shower, clean clothes, and food. I wasn't going to push my luck with a room to, besides, I wasn't really tired and he had a big screen TV.

"Don't worry about it. I have an extra guest bedroom that I never get to use," he persisted.

"Cool," I tried to sound enthusiastic, but I really wanted to watch his big screen TV.

--

She was gone. She left without even leaving a note. The house was clean, everything was spotless. I'd never seen a cleaner house, even when I lived with my adoptive mom, Esme. Nothing was stolen; my clothes lied neatly on the counter top. She even left me the lighter that she took from me when she thought I wasn't looking.

My cell phone vibrated. I groaned when I saw the caller ID.

"What Emmett?" I said, monotone.

"How was it?" he asked. He was never the one for small talk.

"Nothing happened," I said already getting a headache. "I took her home, made her dinner, she took shower, _alone_, we ate dinner, we went to bed, she got up early, cleaned my house, then left."

"She cleaned your house?" Emmett asked. He sounded just as shocked as I was.

"Yeah, she even did the dishes," I said running my fingers over my clean countertop.

"Send her over to my house, Rose has been yelling at me to do the dishes for months now."

I laughed.

"Esme wanted me to tell you that people from the _Smithsonian_ will be at your house later today and that you should clean up. But I guess you don't have to," he laughed.

"I guess not," I grumbled into the phone. "Hey, I think I'm going back to bed can I call you back later?" I asked, trying to come up with an excuse not to talk to him.

"Sure, lover boy."

--

"Meth or heroin?" Tyler asked as I got into his car.

"I don't know," I yawned.

I was exhausted. I had insomnia. I got bored and cleaned Edward's house. I even hand washed his boxers because I was so bored. I thought about making him breakfast, but I called Tyler instead and asked him to pick me up.

"Well do you want to sleep or skitz some more?" he asked, taking a left hand turn.

"Meth it is," I said.

Tyler smiled. "That's my little drug addict," he joked.

"Same guy?" I asked. I always did meth with Tyler. He was the guy to go to when you wanted the hard stuff like meth and heroin.

He shook his head. "There's a new guy that I want you to meet."

I nodded. I was always up to trying new dealers. I was the test dummy of the group. One time I ate a mushroom that could have very well have been poison, because we thought that it was shrooms. It looked like it but it didn't make me trip, I ended up vomiting it up half an hour later. I was in the hospital for a good percent of that night.

He dropped me off at a two story house. I smiled. It was Lauren's house, we weren't real good friends, but I was glad that I was a house that I knew. Her mom didn't know about her doing drugs, but we still did them in her house. I closed the door to Tyler's car and put my hands into my hoodie pocket. Tyler smiled down at me before walking beside me to Lauren's house.

Two men walked out of the house. They were both around my height, one had a shaved head the other had long brown hair hidden under a baseball cap. They smiled at Tyler and me. I kept my face straight. The one with the shave head tossed Tyler a bag. We stopped and I stared at it. My mouth dropped. It was a sandwich bag filled with weed. Tyler smiled and looked back up at the men.

The one with the long brown hair nodded for Tyler to follow him inside. I looked back up at Tyler. He was already walking to the guy in the baseball cap; he didn't even say anything to me. I wanted to follow after him, but I had a feeling I wasn't invited. He left me alone with the guy with the shave head. I guess this was the dude that was going to sell me the meth.

"What's your name?" he asked, walking towards me.

"Bella," I said braver than I felt. I didn't like this guy.

"I'm Snow." He held out his hand. I didn't shake it.

Snow was the most dangerous drug dealer in Washington. He was a hot target for the cops; anyone that was caught associating with him was automatically set at the top of their hot list. I never had the pleasure of meeting Snow- I never wanted the pleasure. The thought of him even being near me made me want to run away and say screw this, but I wasn't about to embarrass myself in front of anyone, I wasn't a coward.

He pulled his hand away. "Do you mind going on the side of the house. Lauren's mom kicked me out and I don't like being out in the middle of the street, you know cops and all."

He smiled. Most of his teeth were chipped or missing. It was obvious that he spent a lot of time doing meth. I nodded before following him to the side of the house. He scared me and I didn't want to piss him off.

"So tell me about yourself," he said sitting on the side of the house in the grass.

I sat next to him. "There's nothing much to say," I mumbled.

He put his hand on my knee. "Ever date a nigger before?" He asked.

I gave him a disgusted look and moved my knee away from him. "You're sick." I yelled. He was a skin head, a stupid wannabe skin head. I should have known. "No, I've never dated a black person before. I haven't dated anyone before." I mumbled. "And I wish you wouldn't call them niggers!" No matter how much he scared me I wasn't about to hear him disgrace a race, that pissed me off more than anything else.

He laughed. "You think you're hard don't you?" he asked, crawling to his knees.

"I don't think anything. I'm not trying to be hard; I just don't want to hear you insult a race of people." I screamed at him. I made no movement to get up.

Snow laughed. "You got a mouth on you, don't you?" He asked. I rolled my eyes. "So Tyler tells me that you're into meth…" He trailed off before reaching into his pocket, my eyes widened and I smiled.

"How much?" I asked, forgetting about the fact that I had _no_ money.

He smiled at me. "You can pay it off later."

I thought about that for a second, but I didn't care. What was a few dollars gone later for meth now? "Do you have anything I can snort this with?" I asked, reaching for the paper. He pulled out his wallet. I rolled my eyes and went back to staring at the crystal coloured powder.

I opened the paper and laid it on the grass. There was a good amount of meth, about thirty dollars worth. Snow handed me a rolled up dollar bill. I leaned over the paper. I used my left nostril to snort meth; my right was dedicated to coke. I sniffed it up loudly; I could see Snow smiling beside me.

I pushed up on my bridge of my nose. I was hit with adrenaline. My blood rushed through my veins. My pupils dilated. And I felt great.

Snow moved his hand to my inner thigh. I frowned. His tongue licked my neck. I leaned away from him and tried to push him off of me. He grabbed my wrist and held them to my side. He moved closer. He caught my lips with his and made me kiss him. My eyes were open and wide. I tried to pull my wrist out of his hands. He moved his knees so he was straddling me, his lips never left mine. He finally pulled away.

"You said I could pay you back!" I screamed.

He smiled. "You are."

**End Chapter.**

My family reads the reviews, so please, be nice...

Jo

BTW: If you apart of , head over to the "all human" section. Cigarette Burns has its own thread.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for the great reviews. It's really nice to know that you like the story. I wish that Stephanie could be here to read them. :)

"All drugs of any interest to any moderately intelligent person in America are now illegal. "  
-Thomas Szasz

**Withdrawals**

Someone was knocking on my door.

I glanced at the clock, it was almost eight thirty. I frowned as I pulled myself off the couch. It was probably Emmett or another family member coming to ask about the interview. Though I didn't understand why they couldn't have just called.

I didn't bother looking through the peek hole. I just opened the door and my heart dropped.

Bella was standing outside my apartment, staring at the floor. Her jacket was torn and it was easily tell that she wasn't wearing anything under it. Her hair was decorated with leaves and dirt. She looked up at me. The left side of her face was bruised and swollen. She was crying.

"Hi," her voice caught in her throat. She cleared it. "I hate to ask this from you, but I need a place to stay. I promise this will be the last time," she said quickly.

It took me a second to catch everything she said. I didn't know what to tell her. I couldn't put her back on the streets; she looked like she had a rough night. And she did give me back my lighter.

"Sure" I finally nodded.

She smiled.

I moved away so she could walk in. She stepped into my apartment staring at the floor. "I'm sorry about yesterday," she whispered. "I was hoping that I could leave and that'd be the last you would see of me, but I needed some place to go."

I shook my head. "It's fine," I said. "Would you like something to drink? I was about to order some pizza, would you like some?"

"Yeah, um," she hesitated as she moved her hand behind her head. "I would love something to drink."

I walked into the kitchen and pulled out two cans of coke. She smiled at me before grabbing the one closes to her. She pulled the tab and opened the beverage and started to chug. She thre the empty can on the table and took a long breath.

"Thirsty?" I asked raising an eyebrow.

She nodded.

I handed her my can. "Where were you this morning?" I asked, taking a seat at the table.

She shrugged. "I didn't know if you wanted me gone in the morning or not so I had someone pick me up."

I frowned. "Do you want to tell me why you look like you got in a fight with a possum?" I asked.

She let out a breath that sounded like a laugh. "I meet a lot of mean people," she said as she stared at the can of coke in her hand.

I got up. "Do you want some ice for your face?" I asked.

She nodded.

I got a Ziploc bag and filled with ice. "You know what this means don't you?" I asked as I zipped the bag closed and walked to the part of the countertop she was leaning on.

"What?" she asked as she grabbed the bag and put it to her cheek.

"You're going to have to stay with me for a little bit. Just until you get on your feet, especially if you're going to come here every time something bad happens to you." I tried to make light of the situation by smiling.

She stared at me. "You're kidding me, right?"

--

We sat in silence as we waited for the pizza to get here. Dominos promised us thirty minutes. There were a lot of things that a person could do in thirty minutes…

"Do I have to pay rent?" I asked taking another sip of my coke.

"Do you have any money?" Edward asked raising an eyebrow.

I shook my head.

"No you don't have to pay rent."

"I can get a job."

"What kind of job?" he smiled.

I shrugged. "I hear that strippers get paid a lot…"

He shook his head. "You're not becoming a stripper."

I frowned. "What about Hooters?"

He wrinkled his eyebrows. "You want to work at Hooters?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Not really, my boobs aren't big enough." I was about to grab my chest, but I didn't want to make Edward feel uncomfortable.

"What happened?" he asked, gesturing to my cheek.

I wanted to tell him. I wanted to tell him more than I wanted anything in my whole life. I wanted the moment to be like some fictional love story where I tell him everything and we have hot passionate sex. But I couldn't get myself to do it. Admitting it to him would be like admitting it to myself and I didn't want to admit to anyone, especially not myself. I was still numb from the moment. The shock of what had happened was still blocking out the pain that I was sure would come soon.

I smiled bitterly at Edward. "I don't know how to say no, sometimes."

"Tell me what happened, Bella." It was a request more than a demand.

I bit my lip and hesitated. "My friend Tyler picked me up from your apartment…"

--

She lied across my bed, her head buried into my pillow, asleep. I stared at her, afraid to do anything else. I had no idea what I was going to do with her. She wasn't a stray dog, she was a human being. It wasn't like I could keep her for a few months and then give her to the pound.

I ran my fingers through my hair and let out a low groan. What had I gotten myself into?

My cell phone vibrated. I walked out of the room, reading the caller ID.

"Hi, Alice."

"How's she doing?" Alice asked, concerned.

"She's asleep." I told her. I called Alice when Bella was taking a shower. I didn't tell her what happened, just that I had a girl here that needed help. Alice's husband was a drug addict and Alice worked with teenagers that had drug addictions. She was the perfect person to call in a time like this.

"The first girlfriend you get and she's a homeless drug addict," Alice joked.

"She's not my girlfriend." I rolled my eyes.

"Ok your first potential girlfriend," she corrected herself. Her voice was still mocking. "She's going to be sick for the next couple of days. I wouldn't be surprised if she becomes irritable…" Alice let her voice trail.

I glanced at Bella through the door crack, she was shaking violently. "She's shaking, Alice." I told her, scared.

"She's going to be doing that for awhile; she's done some pretty hard drugs, Edward. I would ask Carlisle to come over tomorrow morning. The next couple of days are going to be painful for her and she needs a doctor to check her out. I'll drop by tomorrow to and bring some of my old clothes."

"Thanks."

"No problem, what are sisters for?" She asked, her voice light.

"How's Jasper doing?" I asked.

Alice sighed. "He's having a hard time…I'm worried about him."

Jasper use to be on the same boat as Bella, dealing with hard drugs. He was one of Alice's mentor's patience. That's how they met. It was the weirdest relationship ever. Love at first sight didn't cover it for these two.

We said our goodbyes and I walked back to check up on Bella. She snuggled closer into the blankets and rubbed her cheek against the pillow.

"I need a cigarette," she mumbled half asleep.

--

I threw up into the plastic trashcan that Dr. Cullen put by the bed. Edward's hands held my hair back. I started to shake as I pulled my head away from the plastic container. I was crying. "I'm sorry," I whined. "I don't mean too!"

Alice patted my head with an old wash cloth. I remember a friend telling me that you knew you were best friends with someone when they see you throw up. I guess I was really fucking close to these people.

Edward helped me lie down on his bed. My whole body ached. I reached for a cigarette. My hands were still shaking as I tried to light Edward's lighter. I couldn't do it, so I threw the lighter on the floor.

I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes. Fucking withdrawals. I sniffed loudly, gagging when the mucus fell into my mouth. I leaned over the bed again and spit into the trashcan.

"Why does she keep vomiting?" Edward asked Dr. Cullen, angrily.

I wanted to scream that I didn't mean too, but I was too busy gagging.

"Her body is getting use to not having the substances in her system." Dr. Cullen told him, frowning at me.

I moaned in pain as I tried to reach the cup of water. Edward grabbed it for me and gave me the straw. I sucked up the water, desperate for something to drink. I pulled away and laid my head back on his bed. I closed my eyes.

"Who cares about recovery, give me something to make the fucking pain go away!" I screamed at them.

Edward wrapped his hand over my forehead. "Your fever is breaking."

"Whoopie fucking doo!"

I didn't care about my stupid fever. I wanted my fucking coke! I fought the urge to walk out of here and move in with Snow. I could deal with being raped as long as I got my fix. Besides it wasn't so bad, and it's not technically rape when you want it. I wanted my coke and the only way I was going to get it was to sleep with him. It's not rape, it's business.

My stomach lurched again and I leaned over the side of Edward's bed, getting ready to throw up again. I never knew that withdrawal was this hard before. Of course, I have never been off drugs this long. I always found away to get what I wanted. Edward's hands continued to hold my hair as I saw the water hit the bottom of the trash can. Dr. Cullen frowned at me as he went to sit next to me. He grabbed my face between his fingers. Why do doctors always have cold fingers?

"How long have you done drugs, Bella?" He asked.

I thought about it. "Five years," I said.

Dr. Cullen frowned at me as he flashed a light in each of my eyes. "How often do you snort recreational drugs?" He asked.

I shrugged.

He let me go. I fell back onto the bed, fighting with myself on whether or not I wanted to reach for the glass or not. I decided not to, I'd thrown up enough for one life time. I rolled over and wrapped the pillow around my head. Dr. Cullen was talking to Edward. I didn't know what they were saying; I didn't care to know what they were saying. I just wanted this to be over with already.

Someone pulled the pillow. I looked up to see Alice frown at me. "Bella? Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?"

I shook my head.

She helped me lean up. I looked around Edward's room, it was empty. "Where is everyone?" I asked my head was pounding.

"They're going to leave us alone for a few minutes," she said.

I frowned. I didn't like that Edward wasn't here. But I didn't say anything. Alice smiled at me before moving a free strand away from my sweaty cheek. "Did Edward tell you that my husband was a drug addict?"

I shook my head.

Alice smiled. "Yeah, he was a meth addict."

"I'm sorry." I didn't know what else to say.

"I'm not. There was no way that I could have met him if he wasn't one."

"Was he as bad as me?" I asked feel, embarrassed.

Alice laughed. "A lot worse. He had a mouth on him. He was in the army. And he would go onto these long, every other word a cuss word, rants about how much pain he was in. He would throw things at people that were trying to help him and no one wanted to be around him." She didn't stop smiling.

I frowned. "Did he throw anything at you?"

"He tried to throw a remote at me. I threw back at him and dared him to throw it at me again," she laughed.

I didn't laugh. "This isn't what you want to talk to me about, is it?" I asked. "Edward told you, didn't he?"

Alice shook her head. "No. He hasn't told me anything that you haven't said it was okay to. He's really moral when it comes to people's personal lives."

"Do you want to hear it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Alice looked at me. "If you want to tell me."

I took a deep breath. "I think I do."

**End Chapter.**

Thank you, again, for all the amazing support. There are seventeen chapters and I hope to have a chapter every day, but I'm not promising it.

Please leave a(clean) review. My family does read them.

Also if you're a part of Twilighted, check out the thread for Cigarette Burns.

Jo


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"See I think drugs have done some good things for us, I really do, and if you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor: go home tonight and take all your albums, all your tapes, and all your CDs and burn 'em. 'Cause you know the musicians who made all that great music that's enhanced your lives throughout the years... real fuckin' high on drugs."  
-James Maynard Keenan

**Lighter Smiles**

I lit my lighter and stared at it for a couple of seconds. I finally pushed my cigarette into the flame and took a deep breath, sucking in the tar and nicotine. I've been going through cigarettes like crazy since I stopped doing coke. I pulled the cigarette away from the flames. The flame still burned heating up the metal. I took the cigarette out of my mouth and quickly stabbed the lighter face down into my thigh, taking my thump off the button so the flame was gone.

I screamed out in pain as I fell off the toilet onto the tile floor. My body curled up but I never took the lighter off of my thigh. I could feel the cherry of my cigarette singe my arm hair, but I couldn't move. All my attention was focused on my throbbing thigh.

I finally pulled the lighter away from my skin. I could feel my skin peel off the lighter. I ran my hand over the burn mark, it hurt and itched at the same time. I hated the feeling.

A loud knock brought me back to reality. I looked up and stared at the white door. "Bella are you okay in there?" Edward asked.

I nodded. Then I realized that was stupid, because he couldn't see me through the door, so I responded with, "Yeah. I just fell off the toilet, again."

He was quiet for a minute. "Again?" he asked.

I nodded, only slightly aware that he still couldn't see me. "You haven't been around me enough. I fall off of everything." Which was true, I do fall off of things a lot. It's even worse when I'm drunk or on ex, because than I start rubbing various body parts on the floor and mumble how good it feels.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asked.

I pulled myself off the floor. I put my cigarette between my lips as I pulled up Edward's basketball shorts and Alice's panties to my waist. I didn't have any clothes of my own at the moment, so I was borrowing extra clothes from Edward and Alice. I picked up Edward's lighter from the floor and walked to the bathroom door.

Edward was leaning against the far wall, his eyebrows were furrowed and he looked concerned- it creep me out to see him staring at me like I just did something bad. I held up my hands in the air.

He blinked twice. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"Aren't you going to pat me down?" I asked. He looked confused. "You're staring at me like I just told you I'm Jeffery Dahmer or something." The cigarette slipped through my lips and fell to the floor. I squatted down to pick it up, the skin on my thigh stretched, making my burn stretch along with it. I mumbled a low "ouch," before grabbing the lit cigarette. I smiled triumphantly, usually when I dropped cigarettes they go out. Not this one.

I looked back at Edward, my cigarette betweens my lips, again. "Why were you in there so long?" he asked, looking me up and down.

"I don't usually go dookie a lot so it kind of scared me when something was starting to fall out of my ass." It was true. I've gone weeks without going dookie before.

Edward's mouth flinched; I couldn't tell if he was trying to hide his disgust or a smile. Let me see your eyes Bella." He waved his hand for me to go to him.

I thought about it for a minute. Part of me wanted to scream at him for not trusting me, the other part reminded me that this was his house and he could kick me out anytime he wanted. So I stepped towards him, holding my eye lids open with my fingers, which made him roll his eyes. I stared back into his topaz eyes. They were so pretty.

"Whoa! Do you wear contacts?" I asked, shocked to see topaz colour eyes.

"No," he said, shaking his head as he moved his face closer to mine. "They're just naturally like that. I get it from my dad. You're clean," he said moving his face back.

"It's not like I could get anything even if I wanted to," which part of me still did. "I've been under house arrest since I came back," I whined.

He started to walk to the kitchen. I followed after him, not finished with this battle.

I've been living with Edward for a full week now. The withdrawals haven't stopped but they've become a little easier to manage. I smoke like crazy and brand myself every chance I get, but I'm pretty sure that's than injecting heroin.

Living with Edward has turned out to be a very interesting experience. Even though we've only lived together for a week and most of that time, I spent crawled up in a ball throwing up everything that passes through my lips, we have a lot of fun together. He likes to ask a lot of questions and not questions about my drugs or party life. Stupid questions like what's my favourite colour, what music I listened to when I was little. Things that seemed trivial to me were interesting to him.

He walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a coke. "Jasper is going to be here later tonight," he said as he opened the can and took a drink.

"Alice told me last night," I said as I walked towards the trash can to ash my cigarette. Alice and I've grown a lot closer over the past couple of days. She was a lot different than I'd expected. She was always bubbly and smiled a lot. I felt like I was corrupting her with my stories. But she never complained. She only smiled and said exactly what I needed to hear.

"Are you okay with it?" Edward asked.

He was still waiting for me to go into hysterics and tear his whole house apart. I told him he'd seen too many movies, but even Alice agreed with him, I was taking this way too well. Honestly, I only pretend to take it well, it was actually killing me inside and without drugs it was hitting me twice as hard. I lost my virginity to a drug dealer on the side of a house. But I hid it through bad jokes and self mutilation.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be? You act like I'm a little dog that gets scared or 'overly excited' when someone knew comes over. It's not like I'm going to start humping his leg or anything. Besides, I have my cigarettes, that should hold me for a couple of hours."

Edward smiled.

"That reminds me. Do you mind if I go to the gas station around the corner and pick up a pack of cigarettes?" I asked. Edward looked at me suspiciously. "I just ran out and if you don't want me biting everyone's head off, you would let me go."

"Fine, but I'm going with you." He set his can on the counter top and grabbed his keys.

I shrugged. "You do what you must." I smiled to myself when he wasn't looking. "Yes," I squeaked under my breath.

"What was that?" Edward asked.

I looked up and shook my head. "Nothing."

--

Bella and I decided to walk to the corner gas station. I offered to driver her in my Volvo but she said something about ruining the whole experience of going to the local gas station. I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but I didn't fight her.

I looked at her through the corner of my eye. She was wearing one of my jackets over my wife beater. Even in something simple as a wife beater and basketball shorts, she looked nice. She turned around and looked at me. I made note that her bruise was healing nicely.

"So I have a question," she said.

I nodded.

"What were your old girlfriends like?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I never really had one to be honest, I was really quiet through high school, a lot of girls developed crushes on me, but I never returned the feelings. I guess you could say I was a heart breaker in high school."

She nodded. "What do you mean by 'never really had one?' You've either had one or you hadn't."

I looked at her. She was too snoopy. "Are you sure you're not secretly a journalist?" I joked.

She grinned. "I could be if I wanted to, I'm super nosey."

I smiled. "Rosalie, Emmett's wife, was originally supposed to be my girlfriend. We were supposed to go on a blind date together, but I made Emmett go instead, they ended up falling in love with each other." I tried to make it short and simple. I didn't want to go into detail about everything that led up to them falling in love.

"That's romantic," she smiled.

I shrugged. "I guess you could call it that."

"You have no sense of romance," she mumbled.

I laughed. "It sounds too much like an old nineties sit com."

"That's what makes it romantic!" Bella defended.

I rolled my eyes.

We spent the rest of the short walk to the gas station in silence. I thought about striking up a conversation with her, but everything I thought of sounded stupid. So I ended up staring at her the whole time. She wasn't like most girls, definitely stronger (emotionally) than anyone I've met. She was still having a hard time sleeping at night and the medication that Carlisle had her on made me extremely nauseous, but she seemed to work through all of that.

She wanted to find a job, I encouraged her to do so, but part of me didn't like the idea of her going out into the real world. I wanted to keep her locked up in my apartment and make sure that she isn't exposed to the horrors of the world anymore, but it was a selfish thought and it would hurt Bella more than save her.

We walked into the gas station. People stared at me; there was a picture of me on the cover of one the magazines behind the front desks. I blushed and looked at Bella. She seemed oblivious to it as she walked to the candy section, her eyes widened as she pulled a Butterfinger off of the shelf.

"They still make these?" she asked.

I nodded, cautiously.

"Oh my gosh! I haven't had one of these since I was like twelve." She was shining.

"If you want it, you can get it." I told her, it was only ninety-six cents.

Her eyes widened. "Really?" She gasped.

I nodded before grabbing a Hershey for myself. I had a sweet tooth all of a sudden.

We went to stand in line, the girls in front of us started to blush and giggle to themselves as they pointed at me and then the magazine. Bella was moving from her left foot to right. She was bouncing up and down like she had to go to the restroom. She started to pop her knuckles and bit her lip.

"Are you okay Bella?" I asked quietly.

She looked up at me her eyes shining. "Yeah I'm fine. I just _really_ want a slushy." She nodded toward the slushy machine. If you want a slushy, go get one." I tried to sound bored but it didn't work.

She smiled and ran toward the slushy machine, grabbing the biggest cup they had. I rolled my eyes and stepped up to the counter. The lady behind the counter smiled at me before grabbing the candy bars from me.

"Is that all for you today?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No. I'd like a pack of-" I glanced towards Bella, she was filling the 40 oz cup with cherry slush. "Bella, what kind of cigarettes do you like?"

"Camel Frost!" Bella yelled at me as she grabbed a straw and a lid.

"Camel frost and a 40 oz cherry slushy."

She nodded as she punched in the identifications to the slushy that Bella was now slurping. "Can I see your ID?" she asked.

I pulled out my wallet and showed her my ID. She looked at my age before turning around and grabbing a pack of cigarettes and throwing it on the counter. Bella grabbed it before I could. I handed her the money and told her to keep the change.

I grabbed the candy and followed Bella out of the store.

--

Edward opened the door to his apartment for me. I was half way through the slushy and about ¼ into the Butterfinger when I saw Alice sitting on the couch with a tall blond hair man. I glanced up at Edward, still slipping on the slushy. He smiled as the man stood up, Alice following his lead. He was at least a foot and half taller than her.

Alice walked over to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. What I thought was Jasper shook Edward's hand.

"I told you he was hot," Alice whispered in my ear.

I smiled.

Jasper towered over me before handing me his hand. I took it, he had a deep grip. "You must be Bella." His voice was laced with a thick southern accent.

I nodded.

"I'm Jasper."

He released my hand. "It's nice to meet you Jasper," I said. I glanced at his arm, they were covered in scars, especially cigarette burns.

"So since when has this become your house?" Edward asked, teasingly.

"Since, I figured how to pick your lock." Alice smiled. She stuck her tongue at him as she walked to the kitchen.

Edward looked at Jasper. "You can take her home now."

I elbowed him. It had no effect.

Jasper laughed before walking into the kitchen after Alice. I took another bite out of my Butterfingers. "Do you mind if I steal a coke?" Jasper asked from the kitchen.

"Go ahead," Edward yelled at him, walking into the kitchen.

I decided to play follow the leader and head after them. I went to stand next to Jasper, who was holding a can Dr. Pepper instead of a can of coke. I felt calm around him. He was really comfortable to be around, which is something that I didn't expect. Most drug addicts are awkward to be around.

"Emmett wants to know when he can come over." Alice said from the table.

Edward shrugged. "Whenever."

Alice nodded as she pulled out her cell phone from her purse. "What do you guys want for dinner? It'll be my treat, pizza or Chinese?"

I looked at the people in the room.

"Pizza." We all said at once.

**End Chapter.**

Cullenboysanonymous(dot)com is doing a tribute to Stephanie. Please head over to their site and check it out. It is perfect for all your Twilight needs (they have pictures of Robert Pattison shirtless, now I'm a Jacob fan, but even I drooled over them).

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Jo


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?  
-Steven Wright

**Perfectly Flawed**

I kept a close eye on Bella. She was mindlessly picking pepperoni off of her pizza. I could see her hands shake as she tried to pull another pepperoni off. I frowned at her when I was sure she wasn't looking. She's gained some weight, which was good, and she was looking less sick, but it was obvious that she was suffering. I picked up a piece of the cheese pizza and held it out to her.

"You know we have cheese pizza, Bella." I offered her the slice.

She looked up at me and shook her head. "I hate cheese pizza." She mumbled as she pulled off another pepperoni.

I blinked but put down the piece into the cardboard box. I glanced at Alice; she was frowning at Bella along with me. Part of me wandered what happened to the happy and hyper Bella that I saw earlier today. It seemed like her mood did a full 180.

Bella tore a piece off of the pizza and put it in her mouth, she chewed it quietly, her eyes never leaving her almost empty plate. I grimaced as I glanced at Jasper; he took a bite out of his pizza. He seemed immune to Bella's lament state. I glanced back at Bella; she was tearing off another piece of her pizza.

"Are you ok Bella?" Alice finally asked.

Bella's head shot up and she smiled at her. "Yeah I'm fine. Just a little sick to my stomach that's all."

"Do you want me to get the medication that Carlisle prescribed to you when you feel sick?" I asked moving my hands to the edge of the table, ready to get up.

Bella turned to me and shook her head. "No. I just had too much sugar that's all."

I nodded sadly at her. Bella dropped her pizza onto her plate and pulled her chair back, she grabbed her pack of Camel Frost and lighter as she mumbled an excuse me. She left the room and headed towards the patio outside of my apartment. I frowned to myself as I watched her retreat.

"I'm worried about her." I mumbled to my remaining guests.

"Don't be." Jasper told me before taking a loud gulp of his Dr. Pepper. He pulled the empty can away from his lips and squeezed it between his fingers. The can crunched together under the pressure.

He pulled himself away from the table, grabbing his plate and the crushed can. He put the dish on the counter top and threw the can in the trash before he followed after Bella. I turned to Alice. She was frowning to herself, her chin resting on her chin. She looked at me.

"Is it just me or is he just the cutest when he crushes small objects between his fingers." She smiled at me.

"I think that's the first time I ever heard you say something endearing about Jasper." I smiled at her as I took a sip out of my coke, and I mean an actual coke, not Dr. Pepper, not Sprite, but a real coke.

--

I leaned over the railing as I took another drag of my cigarette. The wind blew against me, I kind of wish that I grabbed Edward's jacket before I walked out here. I wasn't wearing a bra so my head lights were on. I covered my hard nipples with my arms as I took another drag of my lit cigarette.

The sliding door to the patio opened, I turned around to see Jasper walk out. I smiled at him, trying to look polite. He smiled back at me before walking to the railing to stand next to me. He was a lot taller than I was. He was around 6'3"; I was about 5'4".

"Do mind if I bum one off of you?" He asked. I shook my head before pulling a cigarette out for him, he smiled at me gratefully. I gave him the lighter and he lit it, holding his hand over the flame so the wind didn't blow it out. He handed it back to me as he sucked the tar into his lungs.

"Does Alice know you smoke?" I asked taking back my lighter.

Jasper shook his head as he pulled out the already half smoked cigarette out of his mouth. My mouth dropped as my eyebrow scrunched together. I'd never seen anyone smoke that fast before.

"No." Jasper gasped out as he blew the smoke out of his lungs. "I stopped three months ago." He smiled at me, holding the cigarette in his right hand.

"Of course you did." I smiled back at him.

He laughed before leaning over the railing with me. "So Alice tells me you've done some pretty hard stuff in your life," he looked at me as he said this.

I nodded as I stared at the city before me.

"How long?" He persisted.

I looked at him and sighed. "Too long, I was in it for about five years." I looked up at him as I said it.

His face dropped. "How old are you now?" He asked.

"Eighteen." I whispered.

"How-" He stopped himself from finishing the sentence.

I turned around so my back was against the railing. I finished off my cigarette before putting it out on the railing. I held the cigarette bud in my hand. I looked at my reflection in the glass door. I thought about weather I wanted to tell him my story or not.

"My parents died when I was twelve. After that I snorted my first line of coke and I never looked back." I looked up at Jasper, he was frowning at me. "Don't feel bad for me." I smiled at him. "Life goes on."

I pushed myself off the railing and walked back into the apartment, I didn't feel like talking about it anymore.

--

I sat on my bed. Alice and Jasper left about two hours ago. I looked at the burn mark that I inflicted on myself. There were several more similar to it on my other thigh. I frowned to myself as I ran my hand over the healing skin, I was pretty sure that most of them were infected. I frowned at them as I scratched the skin around the scar.

A loud knock came from my door. I looked up and quickly threw the fabric back over my self inflicted wound. The door opened quietly and I saw Edward walk in, he was smiling at me, I smiled back, hoping that it looked genuine.

"I thought you might like some cake." He held up a plate with a huge piece of chocolate cake. I smiled up at him before giving him a suspicious look. He held up his free hand. "I promise I didn't make it. Alice dropped it off when she first got here. I found it in the fridge."

I nodded and he smiled, walking into the room handing me the free cake. "Thank you." I mumbled as I took it from him.

He nodded as he sat on my bed across from me. "So Jasper likes you." He told me as he leaned back onto his hands. I looked up at him.

"Really?" I asked.

Edward nodded as he tried to her ran his finger over the icing of my cake. I tapped his hand with my fingers. He laughed as he moved his frosting filled finger to his mouth. He smiled at me as he licked it clean. I sat the cake down, I was still nauseous from earlier.

Edward's hand felt my forehead. "Are you feeling ok Bella?"

I nodded. "I'm just tired." I admitted.

Edward grabbed the plate filled with cake. I leaned back onto the bed. He shook his head as he mumbled something along the lines of "never giving her a slushy again." I smiled to myself as I pulled my knees to my chest. Edward pulled himself off the bed and then wrapped my comforter around me. I smiled at him gratefully.

"Tomorrow I have to go to a photo shoot to go to. You can come with me if you'd like." Edward offered me as he stood next to my bed.

I shook my head. "Thanks for the offer but I was going to look for a job tomorrow."

Edward frowned. "I'm not making you pay rent Bella-" He was going to say more but I interrupted him.

"I know." I smiled at him. "But I still want to get a job."

He still frowned but nodded. "Ok," he sighed. "I'll leave you my cell phone in case something goes wrong. Emmett will be with me. He's number 3 on my speed dial. Call me if anything goes wrong."

I nodded and smiled at him. "Nothing will go wrong."

He frowned at me before heading towards the door. He stopped half way to the door. "No strip clubs." He warned me, a smile playing on his lips.

I rolled my eyes before holding my hand in the air. "I promise I won't become a stripper."

He laughed loudly as he turned off the lights for me. I rolled onto my side and pulled the covers to my chin. I smiled to myself as I thought about today. I was starting too really like Edward. I might even have a crush on him. I blushed as I buried my head into my pillow. Ok, I defiantly had a crush on him.

--

"The Amish Ankle Room," I read the name of the building that Mike had parked out of. I'd asked him to take me job hunting while Edward was at the photo shoot. I turned to Mike, and gave him a weird look.

He smiled at me. "It's a gentlemen's strip club."

"I told you I don't want to be a stripper." I hit him on his shoulder.

"Ouch!" He whined grabbing his arm. "And you're not going to be a stripper! You're going to be a waitress…at a strip club."

I frowned. "A waitress at a strip club…for Amish people," I said it out loud, mostly for myself.

Mike laughed. "Trust me, this isn't for the Amish." I looked at him. Mike continued. "The guy that runs this use to be Amish and he has a sick taste of humor."

I shook my head; there was no way that I was going to work for a strip club.

"C'mon Bells, just give it a try." Mike pleaded. "The men aren't allowed to touch you and the owner takes good cares of his girls. I promise."

I rolled my eyes and opened the car door. "Fine." I yelled out. "But the minute I feel uncomfortable I'm walking out."

"Yes!" Mike yelled as he jumped out of his side of the car and followed after me to the front door. He put his arm around my shoulder, I pushed it off.

He opened the door for me, I coughed loudly as the scent of cigar smoke, weed, sweat, and sex hit my nose. I scrunched up my nose as Mike led me down the stairs to where the chairs and tables were. In front of the stage there was a middle age white male with a cigar in his mouth. He was counting money as a mountain, seriously a mountain, of coke laid next to him. I could feel my body jerked as I saw the coke before me.

The owner pulled his cigar out of his mouth and smiled at us. "You must be Bella." He put the cigar in his ash tray. I nodded, glancing at Mike.

Mike smiled at me. "I called him right after you said that you were looking for a job, he'd agree to give you an interview."

I frowned at him before turning back to the owner, he held out his hand. I took it not wanting to piss off my hopefully future boss. His grip was tight, I cringe. "I'm Rudy Tribble." I nodded as I pulled my hand back from his tight grip. He turned to Mike. "She's a lot cuter than you said she was."

I didn't take it as a compliment.

Mike laughed and wrapped his hand around my waist. "Told you." He smiled at him.

I pulled away from him and glanced back at Rudy. "I'm not going to be a stripper." I made sure to get this out in the open before any deals were made.

He nodded. "So I heard." He smiled at me showing off his yellow teeth. "I'll pay 10 dollars an hour plus tips, which there will be plenty. You'll work five days a week from 8 to 1. You'll have Sunday off, but you have to work Friday and Saturday."

"No one touches me." I warned him.

He smiled at me. "Wouldn't have it any other way."

I let out my breath and nodded. I needed the money and let's face it, this probably paid better than if I _was_ a stripper. I looked back at Rudy. He was cutting up three lines. I assumed one of them was for me, my body tensed.

"Welcome to the family Bella." He told me as he handed me a rolled up hundred dollar bill. I frowned at him. His eyes were shining as I took a step forward, my hand reached out for the rolled up bill. He smiled at me as I leaned down. "That's my girl." He whispered to me as I hovered the rolled up bill over the line of coke. I took a deep breath as I sniffed loudly, the white specks of coke flying into my nose.

**End Chapter.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

Avoid all needle drugs - the only dope worth shooting is Richard Nixon.  
-Abbie Hoffman

**Opheliac**

"Calm down Edward." Alice told me softly over the phone.

"I can't calm down Alice!" I screamed at her. "She won't answer my cell phone it keeps going to my voice mail! And I've looked all around town and no one has seen her! What if she's using again? Or even worst dead!"

Emmett and I got home to an empty house two hours ago. Bella had agreed to be back here at six. It was now eight-thirty. I growled in frustration as I paced back and forth in front of my kitchen table. I glanced at Emmett he was leaning back in one of my wooden chairs a grin plastered across his face. I threw my empty coke can at his head.

"Edward," it was Jasper. "Relax. Bella probably just got on the wrong bus or something. She'll be fine."

It didn't comfort me. I sat down on a chair across from Emmett and closed the phone. We never said bye in my family, there was no need, when the conversation is over, it's over. I rested my forehead on my hand and sighed. Emmett looked at me over his Sprite can.

"You know what you need," Emmett told me as he set the can down.

I looked up at him, my eyebrows rising along with my eyes. "I swear Emmett if the next words out of your mouth have anything to do with sex, I'm kicking you out of my house."

Emmett laughed before shaking his head. "No I was going to say a house phone, so you would stop wasting my minutes." He reached his hand out for his phone, which I was clutching tightly to in my hand. I sighed before passing it to him. He smiled in gratitude before flipping it open.

I glanced at the clock on my oven; it was eight-forty nine. I growled in frustration as I pulled my hands through my hair, I grabbed the ends of them and started to pull. The skin on my forehead was being pulled along with it. I glanced at the clock again. It was still eight- forty nine.

The door opened. I jumped from my seat next to the table and ran into the next room. My eyes quickly looked at the door where I saw Bella walk through, her hands holding bags of groceries. She looked up at me and smiled, all my anger and anticipation faded when I saw her smile. I could feel my lips tug to the side as I returned the smile.

"I got a job." She finally screamed, her small face grinning. "And your cell phone died on me."

I blinked twice, not yet able to process her words. Relief was still the only emotion I could feel in my body. She was safe, not only was she safe but she was safe and happy. I took a step forward and reached for one of the bags, her smile soften as she handed me the bag in her right hand.

"Sorry it took me so long," she apologized as we headed back to the kitchen. Emmett was still sitting at the table hiding a grin through his Sprite can. I rolled my eyes as I placed the grocery bag on the table. She didn't bruy much; there were only two bags and there weren't much in them.

"I had to get fitted for my uniform and then I decided to go grocery shopping with the money you gave me." Her voice was fast and light with excitement.

I glanced at Emmett. He put down his Sprite can and pulled himself away from the table. "You must be Edward's drug addict girlfriend." He held out his hand towards Bella. I shot him a glare. He smiled at me. "Oh sorry, ex drug addict girlfriend."

Bella's smile didn't falter as she grabbed his hand. "I remember you; you were at the art show." Her voice was still excited.

Emmett's smile turned to a grin. "Yeah, I was the sexy one with all the ladies."

I rolled my eyes as I unpacked the groceries from their bags. There were two loafs of bread, two packages of slice cheese, a can of chili with beans, a Butterfinger, and a over sized bag of Lays Potato Chips. I looked at Bella; this was a weird assortment of items. The Butterfingers I could understand, but everything was still questionable.

"Did you two already eat?" She asked, grabbing the can of chili, the cheese, and a loaf of bread. I shook my head, I knew I forgot something. She smiled at me. "Good because I'm making dinner."

Emmett smiled at me. Bella's excitement was contagious. I smiled at her as she unwrap the loaf of bread and tore open the plastic wrap that held the cheese together.

"Are you eating with us right Emmett?" She asked as she laid two slices of bread on the countertop.

"Hell yeah! Rose is another diet. Do you know how long it's been since I've had food that could kill me?" He turned to me as he asked this. "If she loses anymore weight, I'm afraid that I'm going to break her next time that we have sex."

I rolled my eyes. I didn't want or need to know that.

Bella turned around as she unwrap a slice of cheese. "Rose? You mean Rosalie Hale, the model?" She practically screamed it.

Emmett smiled and nodded. "The one and only."

Her mouth dropped as the slice of cheese she unwrapped fell to the floor. She turned to me her mouth still open. "Is there anyone in your family that doesn't make over hundreds of thousands of dollars a year?"

I smiled at her. "What are you making for dinner Bella?" I wanted to change the subject. I didn't want to make her feel bad, especially since she just now got a job.

She closed her mouth and squatted down to pick up the cheese off the floor, she threw it into the trashcan. "Grilled cheese with chili." She smiled at me. "My mom use to make it for me every time she got a new job. It's kind of a tradition of mine."

I smiled at her, revolted at the thought of eating grilled cheese and chili but I would suck it up for her, especially if it was her tradition. I wanted to make her feel as safe and comfortable as I possibly could, that's the only reason I even agreed to letting her get a job.

"Where are you working at Bella?" Emmett asked, pulling out another Sprite from the fridge.

Bella turned around and shrugged. "I'm just a waitress."

--

I took another drag out of my cigarette as I sat on Edward's couch with a calculator. I was trying to figure out how much I would make a week and subtract that with the current expenses. I growled in frustration as I leaned over to ash my cigarette, this was harder than I thought, especially since everything was getting so expensive.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked from the side of the couch, another grilled cheese and chili sandwich in his hands. It was a hit amongst the boys. I think they liked it more than I did.

"Just going over living expenses," I mumbled as I punched more numbers into the calculator.

"Bella, you haven't even started your job yet and you're worried about living expenses?" Edward asked as he sat down on the couch next to me.

I looked up at him and nodded and ran my hands through my hair. "I didn't know that living cost so much," I mumbled.

He frowned as he grabbed my notebook. I leaned my head back on the couch. My back was hurting me from sitting in the same position for so long.

"Rent?" Edward asked.

I nodded. "I'm going to start paying rent as soon as my tips start coming in, I don't know how much I'll make so I left that blank." I smiled at him.

He frowned at me. "I'm not charging you rent Bella."

I shrugged. "You're not now, but once I get my feet planted in the ground I want you to."

He continued to frown as he read the rest of the list. I ashed my cigarette in the ash tray before taking another hit, I was running out of cigarettes already, I forgot to pick up a pack when I was at the grocery store and I didn't want to ask Edward for another trip to the convenient store.

Edward handed me the notebook and set the grill cheese, chili sandwich onto the coffee table next to the ash tray. He looked at me and set his hand on the back of the couch. I breathed out the tar and looked at him, he didn't seem too happy that I was leaving the nest and starting a life of my own.

"Bella, why do you want to get out of here so badly?" Edward asked.

I frowned back at him. "It's that I want to leave, but I _need_ to leave. You've been great Edward, but honestly how long did you think this will last? I can't keep living off of you like some hobo, we can still be friends, but we'll be friends in different houses."

"You act like you've been living here for years. It's only been a week. I'm not even sure if you're ready to be out on your own without using."

My face drop and I could feel my ego shatter. He didn't trust me, ok he had a good idea not to trust me, especially since I relapsed earlier today but that was different, that was a onetime thing and the line wasn't even that big, it barely lasted fifteen minutes.

"You don't trust me." My face fell and I could feel the tears weld up in my eyes.

"Bella, it's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I'm worried about you." Edward moved his hand towards my cheek. I shot my face away from him and stared at my notebook and calculator. "Are you crying?" Edward asked shocked.

I shook my head and crawled off the couch. "No." I lied. I grabbed my notebook and calculator. "I'm going to bed, I start work tomorrow."

I walked out of the room towards my bedroom. I didn't know what hurt me more, the fact that Edward didn't trust me or the fact that he had a good reason not to trust me. I used today and I would probably use tomorrow and the day after that. Recovery is a myth; even Jasper isn't able to give up everything. I smiled to myself as I wiped away the tears from my eyes. I lasted a week that had to count for something.

--

"Here you go." I smiled at my first customers as I handed them their drinks. They smiled back at me before handing me the money to pay for the drinks and a nice tip. I stuck the tip in my over stuffed push up bra. I didn't have the boobs for the shirt (which had the restaurant's logo on it, an Amish women with her ankle showing) so Rudy made me stuff my bra with fake breasts and toilet paper. "Thank you," I continued to smile at them as I left their table.

"Gentlemen give it up for Steph Star, who will now be dancing to the song Fuck like a Star," the announcer introduced the first stripper of the night. The men started to cheer and hoot the song blasted through the building. I rolled my eyes and headed back to the cash register. I handed a fellow waitress, whose name I already forgot the money. She smiled at me.

"I love this song." She yelled at me over the music.

I shrugged.

"Fucks like a star, so rated R, you'll do anything because she fucks like a star." The waitress sang along with the song as she grabbed her notepad.

I watched her as she walked across the building, stopping at a booth with a stripper pole in the middle. One of the men started to rub her ass as she took down their orders. She giggled at him before putting her finger on her nose, the men laughed and high fived each other. She smiled at each of them before walking back towards me.

I scrunched my eyebrows together. "What was that about?" I asked, I thought the men weren't allowed to touch us.

She smiled at me. "He wants a private room with me." She handed me her notepad. "I need you to take care of the floor, I'll only be gone," she looked at the man that she was just talking to. "I'd give him ten minutes, tops."

My mouth dropped. "I don't know how to take care of floor." I stared at her with wide eyes.

She smiled at me. "It's simple, just take their orders and try not to screw up. I'll be back in ten minutes, you'll be fine." She started to scream at me as she walked across the building to meet up with the guy. He smiled at her she grabbed his hand and walked into a small area marked XXX. I groaned and rolled my eyes, as I stared at the floor. There weren't many people here, especially since it was only Wednesday.

"My first day on the job and now I have to take care of a room filled with horny drunk men, alone…great." I mumbled to myself as I walked up to a table, a man sat there alone. I smiled at him as I closed the distance between us.

"Would you like anything to drink, sir?" I asked.

He looked up at me and smiled. My heart drop and my smile faded.

"Hello Bella," Snow smiled at me.

**End Chapter.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"In the 1960s, people took acid to make the world weird.  
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal."  
-Author Unknown

**Pity Girl**

I growled in frustration as I dropped the paintbrush into the cup of water. I was having a hard time concentrating on painting, I wanted to paint so I could get my mind off Bella, but it wasn't working to my benefit. I glanced at the clock it was only nine-thirty, I had five more hours of torturing myself before she was even off work.

I ran my hands through my hair as I sat down on the paint splashed couch. I was becoming obsessive. I was like that creepy boyfriend that every girl has. I groaned to myself and leaned my head back onto the couch. I hated not knowing where she was, I hated not knowing if she was using, and I hated not being with her. I was happy that she got a job, not because I wanted her to get a job, but because she was happy that she got it.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket, I glanced at the time. It was still nine-thirty. I groaned and closed it again. I ran my fingers through my hair and stared up at the ceiling. I wouldn't last the next five hours. I closed my eyes and began to argue with myself whether or not to call up Emmett and maybe go catch a movie, but I didn't want to deal with the jokes that he would make.

I stared at the blank canvas in front of me. I had no idea what I wanted to paint. I grabbed the paintbrush in the cup and dipped it into one of the dabs of paint on my table. I glanced at the canvas and sighed, the image of Bella ran through my head. I smiled to myself. I think I knew what I wanted to paint now.

--

I sat next to Snow outside of the strip club. I agreed to talk to him on my cigarette break. I didn't look at him as I pulled a cigarette from my pocket, the wind was blowing hard. I ran my thumb over the metal rings and the flame ignited. I put my hand in front of the flame to shield it from the wind. I breathed in deeply when, letting the nicotine scar my lungs.

"Do you mind sharing?" Snow asked. I shot him a glare and shook my head.

"I would rather flush them all down the toilet than give it to you." I spat at him, as I took the cigarette out of my mouth, I let the smoke out of my lungs and into the air.

"Bitch." He mumbled under his breath.

I rolled my eyes."That'll get you laid." I mumbled out of habit.

"Already has." Snow smiled at me.

I shot him a glare and lifted up my upper lip in a snarl. "What do you want, Snow?" I growled at him before taking another drag out of my cigarette.

"I want to know why you're being such a bitch to me!" Snow yelled at me getting onto his feet. "I gave you the best fucking H of your life and you treat me like I'm a fucking slime ball."

"You fucking tricked me!" I screamed back at him, getting onto _my_ feet. "You tricked me into sleeping with you."

"That's the business! You should know that by now!" Snow snapped back at me. "You've been on the streets since you were 13 Bells, rumors are your own dad won't even fucking talk to you."

My fists balled together and I fought the urge to punch him in the eye. "Don't _ever_ talk about my dad around me." I spat at him. I took another hit off of my cigarette to calm my nerves. I fought the urge to punch him in the eye. I hated when people talked about my dad.

"Bella," Snow stood in front of me. "This is our life. This is the business. I get laid you get your shit."

I looked away from him. "You call it business, I call it rape." I mumbled to him before taking another hit of my cigarette. I was shaking and my heart was pounding in my chest. It was the first time I ever mentioned to anyone outside of Edward's family that I looked at it as rape. I didn't look up at Snow, afraid of his reaction.

"You thought I raped you?" He made it a question.

I didn't look at him as I blew out a smoke ring. I inwardly smiled to myself. I hadn't blown out a smoke ring in years. I looked at the cigarette cherry as I waited for him to say something to me. I didn't want to say anything to else to him, afraid he would get angry at me.

"I asked you a question Bella." Snow snapped at me, his fingers grabbed onto my chin and forced me to look at him.

I was on the verge of tears. "You raped me." I whispered to him, my anger being washed away by tears.

Snow pushed my head back before pacing in front of me. His hands ran through his hair. I wiped away the tears that escaped before taking another hit of my cigarette. I could only pretend to be hard for so long. I was still human, I still had feelings. And telling the guy that raped you, that you believed he raped you was the hardest thing that I've ever done.

"Who have you told about that?" Snow spat at me.

I looked up at him and shook my head. "No one." I lied.

"You better fucking keep it that way." He raised his finger in front of my face. "Because if word gets out that-" He couldn't get himself to say it. I was kind of happy that he didn't say it. I didn't want to hear it from him.

"I won't tell anyone." I yelled at him. I was breathing hard.

"I have to go back to work." I whispered before putting out my half smoked cigarette. I put the rest of it in my pocket with my other cigarettes. I turned around to look at him; his fist was coming straight towards. I flinched and closed my eyes, ready for the contact. Nothing happened.

I opened my eyes to see his arm next to me. His fist was touching the door. My heart was pounding, I swallowed my tears. Snow was breathing hard as he pulled his fist away from the door. He raised his finger in front of my face and opened his mouth to say something but stopped. His finger retreated and his fist was visible again. He punched the wall next to me/ I closed my eyes, the tears that had built up, fell down my face, smearing my eyeliner.

"You're a fucking idiot." Snow yelled at me. I looked up at him. He was breathing heavy, his fist now at his side. "You're a fucking idiot and you fucking suck at sex." He turned to leave before turning around. "It was fucking business Bella, just fucking business!"

My back hit the brick wall and I fell to the floor, my body shaking. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on them. My first day on the job and I meet the biggest asshole in the world. I started to cry into my knees, my body shaking with each sob. I was terrified.

--

It was the end of my shift and I was sitting at a bus stop where I was supposed to meet Edward. The busses stopped at eleven.

I spent the rest of my shift, jumpy and moody. The later the evening got the hornier the men were. They grabbed onto me and tried to slip bills into my shorts so I would take them to the private rooms. I never went to the rooms but the touching didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. After I while I played a little game with myself, to see if I could get more men to touch me than the other waitresses. I lost…miserably.

I got a lot of tips and a couple of lines of coke. Rudy encouraged all the girls to do as many lines as we could so we wouldn't be groggy when we met talked to the customers. I pretended not to feel guilty when I did the lines, they were small, not the real rock star lines that I did with my friends. And like coke usually does, when not taken in excessive amounts, it lasted on fifteen minutes. So it wasn't like it was a big deal or anything.

My heart jumped when I saw head lights. I prayed that it was Edward, I didn't like being on the side of the road in the middle of the night. The car slowed down, I smiled and got my stuff ready. The window rolled down and I saw Emmett smile at me. I laughed in excitement.

"Told you she was using waitress as a code for prostitute," Emmett yelled loudly to Edward. I laughed and shook my head. Emmett looked at me. "So how much they charging now and days?" He asked.

"Depends on the person," I told him, following along with the joke. I walked to the window of the Volvo and leaned down, lik ea real prostitute would.

"How about me and Edward?" Emmett pushed the joke on.

I smiled at him. "Well Emmett, I didn't roll that way. What would the great Rosalie think?"

Edward left out a loud laugh, Emmett blushed. I pulled away from the window and went into the back seat of the car. Edward pulled the car into the empty street. Emmett mumbled something under his breath before turning up the radio. I smiled to myself as I pulled my bag to my lap.

"Sorry we're late." Edward apologized.

I looked at him and shook my head. "It's fine." I smiled up at him.

"How was work?" Emmett asked turning around to look at me.

I shrugged and pulled out another cigarette. "Hard and tiresome." I ran my thumb over the metal, the flame came to life and I sucked in deeply.

"Yeah that's usually what sex is like." Emmett smiled turning back to the road.

I swallowed the smoking, making me cough, loudly. MY eyes started to water as I continued to cough in my hand. Edward pulled to the side of the road and turned around to look at me. I held up my hand as I continued to cough, signaling that I was going to be fine. I finally took a deep breath but continued to hold my breath. I've swallowed smoke before, of course it was only when I smoked weed but I had a feeling that it worked the same way.

"Are you ok Bella?" Edward asked.

I caught a glimpse of me in the mirror, my face and eyes were blood red, and my make was smeared from the tears that were following out of my eyes. I nodded my head. "Yeah I'm fine." I finally choked out. I started to mentally count down in my head. I felt the gas build up in my chest and I pounded my fist against the chest.

3…

2…

1…

I let out a loud burp of smoke, it hovered in the air. Emmett and Edward watched in amazement as the smoke came out of my mouth, and hovered above their heads. It took them a second to process what just happened but when it finally went through their tiny male minds, they started laughing, hysterically. I blushed (which I'm sure no one recognized because I was already red from choking).

"I've never seen someone burp out smoke before." Emmett laughed out, his fist banging on the dashboard.

I scrunched up my face. My mouth tasted like stale nicotine, not an attractive taste. I looked in my bag for a water bottle that I stole from the strip club. I started to unscrew the top as the boys calmed down from laughing so hard.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked his face red from laughing.

I nodded as I took two gulps of my water. "Yeah, I do that all the time." I mumble.

Edward put the car into drive again and headed back to the empty road. I started to screw the cap back onto the water and put back in my bag. I pulled out my tips that I bounded together with a rubber band. It was thick, of course not as thick as the strippers or any of the other waitresses, but it was an extremely large amount of money.

I ran my hands over _my_ money; it was mine, and not anyone else's. I smiled to myself as I counted the ones, fives, and a few tens and twenties. It would be a lie to say that I wasn't in shock from how much I was making, especially since I still had my clothes on and it was my first day. And instead of feeling degraded, I felt in powered. I had control over the men; they didn't have control over me. I almost envied the strippers on the poles, not because of the money they were making, but the power they had over the men that were throwing the money at them.

"Do you guys want a midnight snack?" I asked grabbing one of the twenties and putting the rest in my purse. I would count the rest later. "My treat!" I smiled at Emmett when he turned around.

Edward frowned. "I'll pay for it." He told me as he turned on the blinker to go to the next lane.

"No way! What's the point having money if I can't even use it!" I yelled at him before pointing to another exit. There was an all night diner on the corner of the next street that had the best cheeseburger.

He turned to me and sighed. "I'm not going to win this fight am I?"

I smiled at him and shook my head. "Turn on Zion and then right on Broadway." I told him before sitting back into my seat. I continued to smile to myself. I like winning when I'm around Edward, it fed my growing ego.

--

She made me take her to a truck stop. I could smell the rat feces mix in with the grease drenched food, my nose wrinkled and I started to gag at the strange smells that attacked my nose. It was so strong that it left a bitter taste in my mouth. I looked at Bella; she was smiling as she breathed in deeply through her nose. I sometimes forgot how different our worlds were. I made a mental note to take her to a nice restaurant when she wasn't so set on spending her money on the littlest of things. She led me to a small booth on the side of the diner.

She crawled into the booth and was soon quickly followed by Emmett. I shot him a dark glare, he smiled back at me. I sat across from Bella. She smiled at me before she looked at the menu that was taped to the table. I stared at it, my stomach doing flips. It looked revolting, but I promised myself that I would suck it up. I stared at the prices instead of the food, I didn't want to spend too much of Bella's money, no matter how excited she was about spending her money.

"Any suggestions?" Emmett asked looking at Bella's menu.

She looked up from her menu and laughed. "I forgot how under privilege you guys are."

We both gave her a weird look. We surely weren't 'under privilege.' We were both adopted to an extremely rich family and given the best education that money could buy. We've seen the world, ate with the powerful, and done things that other people could only dream about. And here she was, excited to get a candy bar at a gas station, calling us under privilege.

She looked at me and smiled before pointing to a picture of a green cheeseburger in front of me. I wrinkled my nose and looked back at her, but she wasn't looking at me, she was looking at Emmett's menu, pointing to the same green cheeseburger. He looked about excited about the green meat as I was.

Bella removed her fingers from our menus. "Best cheeseburgers, you'll ever taste. They're even better than McDonald's." She smiled at us before looking back at her menu.

"Well you know it's good if it's better than McDonald's." Emmett mumbled. I kicked him under the table. He shot me a glare. I narrowed my eyes at her and nodded towards Bella. I begged him before we went to pick up Bella to be on his best behavior, but it had little success.

I glanced at Bella. She was too caught up in her own little world to notice the silent conversation between Emmett and me. She scrunched up her nose and pulled her hands from under the table. She let out a sneeze. I smiled softly to myself before grabbing a napkin out of the napkin suspender and handed it to her. She looked up at me, her hands over her mouth and nose. Her cheeks rose as she took the napkin from me, I smiled back at her.

"Thank you," she mumbled removing her hands and placing the napkin on her nose. I continued to stare at her as she blew her nose; she was so cute when she did the simplest of things. She looked at me as she continued to rub the napkin on her nose. Her cheeks dropped and turned bright red. She pulled the napkin away from her nose. "Why do you keep staring at me?" She asked.

Emmett looked at me along with Bella. "Why _do_ you keep staring at her?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

I opened my mouth and closed it. I didn't want to admit that I was staring her down so I could commit every movement that she made to memory, so when she finally left me, I would have something to fall back on. I didn't want to admit that I worried that every movement she made could be her last. I didn't want to admit that I was slowly falling in love with this short, under fed, drug addict that was sitting across from me. And I didn't want to admit that sometimes if I stared at her long enough that my pants grew tighter and I would have to take a long and very cold shower so that way my pants could fit right again.

Someone cleared their throat next to us. I turned around to see a tall middle age woman glare at us. Her graying hair was tied into a tight bun on the top of her head; her nails were long and professionally colored (which I was sure against the health code) and her face was covered with a deep and angry frown.

"Hi Marcie." Bella smiled at the frowning waitress. "The usual times three." She continued to smile.

Marcie nodded once before writing it down on her notepad, she threw three straws onto the table and stalked off, her steps heavier than they should have been. Emmett and I looked at Bella; she was playing with the wrapper of one of the straws. She looked up at us and frowned, glancing at each of us before.

"What?" She asked.

"What's the usual?" Emmett finally asked.

She pointed to the green cheeseburger on Emmett's menu, "a cheeseburger, fries, and a coke." She removed her finger from his menu and looked up at me. "If you want dessert they have a great selection of pies."

I smiled politely back at her before shaking my head. "That won't be necessary."

She shrugged and went back to playing with her straw. I frowned at her. She didn't seem as excited to be here when she first got here. I reached my hand out to touch hers, mimicking every cheesy eighties movie out there. She jumped back at my touch and looked up at me. My frown deepened.

"Are you ok, Bella?" I asked.

Her eyes widened, before she smiled at me. She nodded. "Yeah, great." She lied. "I'm just tired."

I frowned before removing my hand. "Yeah…" I mumbled. "I'm a little tired to."

The rest of our stay at the diner was short and uneventful. Bella and Emmett started to argue over movies and television shows, telling each other jokes, and when I didn't get it, Bella would pathetically try to explain it to me. Emmett would stray away from the deal we made and would say something dirty to Bella. Bella would laugh while I kicked him under the table. He was polite to every other female in the human race besides Bella and Alice.

I handed Emmett his piece of pie as he crawled out of the front seat. "Are you sure Rose isn't mad?" I asked when he took the pie.

Emmett shrugged. "It's not like I was with some random drug addict that is hiding the fact that she's a prostitute." My head fell back and I rolled my eyes. Bella laughed as she climbed into the front seat where Emmett once sat.

"If you want I can kiss the color of your shirt with my red lipstick." Bella encouraged him.

Emmett laughed before closing the door behind him. I put the car into drive and drove off, wanting to get out of there if he did decide to come back and make Bella kiss his color with red lipstick. Bella turned to me as she buckled up her seatbelt. She smiled at me politely before putting her bag onto the floor of the Volvo.

"I had fun today." She continued to smile.

I smiled back at her, her hazel eyes were shining. "I'm glad you did." I said looking back at the road. Bella leaned into the seat and rested her head on the window. "Tired?" I asked.

She shook her head. "More drained than tired." She mumbled.

"Did work take a lot out of you?" I asked, before turning the street to my apartment complex. I lived about a block away from Emmett, that's why we always hanged out together.

She rubbed her hands over her eyes and nodded. "More than I realized it would." She mumbled into her hands.

I turned into the parking space in front of my apartment building. My hand went to my seatbelt, I started unlock it as I opened the door to the Volvo. Something warm touched me, even with the lose grip on me, I could feel it shake. I turned around to Bella. Her hand was shaking as she held mine still.

I was about to ask if she was ok when she leaned forward. She pressed her lips gently against mine…

**End Chapter.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.  
-Robin Williams

**Stranger than Fiction**

Sometimes it's easy to confuse fiction with reality. I've read so many different books and seen so many different movies where the main characters – that everyone knows are suppose to be together – decide to randomly kiss and it leads into something more passionate. But as I pulled away from the small and very innocent kiss that I shared with Edward Cullen, I couldn't help but feel embarrassment, as shame crawled up my spine and wrapped it's cold hands around my stomach, removing all the color from my face, and making me feel like I should run into the middle of the street and stand there until something hits me.

Edward stared at me shock and confused. The color slowly returned to my face mostly focusing on my cheeks. We stared at each other for a few seconds, the air thick with the awkwardness of our first kiss that I forced upon him. Without giving myself time to think, I unbuckled my seat belt and quickly pulled the handle to the door – pushing it open to free myself from the awkwardness.

My foot was out of the door when Edward grabbed my arm. I turned around to him. He was staring at me with the same shock and confused expression that was painted onto his beautiful face earlier. The realization of what I've done finally sank in. I was Bella Marie Swan, local drug addict that worked at a strip club. He was Edward Anthony Cullen, Greek god that shared his talent with the world. We belong to two different worlds and I just crossed the line between friend and stalker.

"Bella," Edward finally whispered. His words pierced through me.

I smiled sadly at him, swallowing the growing lump in my throat. I prayed that the tears that were building up in my eyes weren't going to tip over. I bit my lip, trying to hold back the sob. Rejection was a painful emotion that I didn't take to kindly. I blinked rapidly as my vision became blurred.

"I'm going to bed." I finally choked out, afraid that if I stayed any longer I would ruin whatever was left of our friendship. "Thanks for picking me up." I pulled away from his grip and forced myself out of his Volvo and into the cold night. The cool wind turned my warm tears into ice as I headed towards the front lobby of the apartment complex.

I was still waiting for my happy ending for the night, the part where Edward would come after me, turn me around and kiss me good night. But as I got closer to _his_ apartment I realized that that fiction and reality were two different things. Movies lie and books are works of pure fantasy only based on reality. I felt embarrassed and rejected, mix that in with withdrawaling from coke and telling the guy that raped you that you that he raped you – you get a suicidal, lonely, drug addict.

--

"So an emotionally challenge girl made a move on you and instead of taking advantage of this, you come over to _my_ house, so not only do you not get laid tonight, I don't either." Emmett's voice was aggravated as he handed me a cup of coffee before sitting across the table from me.

I sighed and stared at the black liquid in front of me. Instead of running after Bella and telling her that I wasn't mad that she kissed me or even better – kiss her back. I drove my Volvo to Emmett's house and barged in when he was having some 'intimate' time with his wife. It was clear on Rosalie's face, when she answered the door, that I was interrupting something. But she reluctantly let me in, her eyes glaring holes into me as I called for Emmett.

"I wouldn't have to come over if you just answered your phone." I shot back at him.

"There's a reason I didn't answer the phone, Edward." Emmett growled at me. I mentally cringed as an image of Emmett and Rosalie together flashed through my mind. "Why didn't you want to kiss her?" Emmett started the interrogation. "I thought you liked her."

"I _wanted_ to kiss her." I admitted. "I wanted to do a _lot_ more than kiss her." I continued to stare at my coffee.

"Then why didn't you?" Emmett asked as he poured sugar into his coffee.

"I don't know." I sighed, running my hands through my hair. "It's different with Bella," I looked at him.

"What's different? Well besides the fact that she's an emotionally traumatized drug addict." Emmett smiled at me, trying to brighten my mood. I didn't laugh.

"She's been through a lot Emmett. I don't want to take advantage of her." I tried to explain the impossible to him.

"But she made the first move." Emmett reminded me. "I know that Esme and Carlisle raised you in the Stone Age, but when a woman kisses you, even the crazy ones, that usually means that they like you." I frowned at him. I didn't like Emmett calling Bella crazy.

"Just talk to her." Rosalie's harsh voice came from the side of me. Her long blond hair was combed out and she was wearing a black silk robe that I wished covered more than it did. It was obvious there wasn't anything underneath it. She was glaring at me before she walked to the refrigerator. I made sure _not_ to watch her when she bent down to pick up something from the bottom shelf that she most likely wouldn't eat. It was meant for her husband and a sign to me that I was currently unwelcomed.

Emmett gave me a pleading look when Rosalie left the kitchen. I sighed and pulled myself away from the table. It was obviously a bad time and it wasn't like Emmett could do much to help me anyways, it was my problem and it looked like it would be up to me to solve it. Emmett smiled at me and walked me to the front door.

"Sorry I couldn't help much." Emmett didn't sound the least bit sorry. "But just talk to her, she's probably more confused about the situation than you are." He closed the door quickly behind me. I sighed to myself before walking to my Volvo. He was right; I had to talk to her. There was no other way around this, mostly because last time I visited Alice at three o'clock in the morning she threatened to call the police. She wasn't the nicest (or prettiest) person at three in the morning.

I sighed to myself before banging my head on the steering wheel. I had to talk to her, there was no avoiding it. I frowned in aggravation before I put my car into drive and headed back to my apartment.

--

I grabbed more of the paper towels and continued to wrap it around my arm. "Fuck," I whispered to myself as the blood easily soaked through the thin white paper. "Fuck," I screamed as I stared in horror at the blood that was building up on my arm. I had forgotten how much I hated blood. I could feel my stomach turn as I tried to look away, still holding tightly to the paper on my arm. I looked around the kitchen desperate for something that would make the blood stop.

My heart jumped to my throat when I heard the door open. "Bella," Edward called out to me. I quickly ran around the kitchen, still clutching the dry paper towel to my arm as I tried to think of an excuse to why I was bleeding excessively on his tile floor.

"Hold on." I screamed out to him, blinking away the tears. I could feel the blood the blood sink through the towel and stain my hands. I gripped tighter as I looked for Edward's jacket.

"Bella," Edward's voice was closer, "I wanted to apolo-" He cut himself off when he turned the corner to the kitchen. He stared at me his eyes wide in horror, his mouth gaped.

"I didn't try to kill myself." I said quickly as I continued to hold the towel to my arm, my tears threatened to surface again. "It was an accident."

Edward didn't answer as he ran towards me, pulling me to the sink. I followed along graciously. I flunked out of first aid in high school; I kept on skipping class to avoid the fake blood. He pulled my blood stained hand from my bleeding arm before turning the faucet to the sink. He checked the water quickly before pulling my bleeding arm under the cold, very cold, water. I flinched from the cold water as the blood washed from my arm. I looked away quickly, feeling light headed.

"What happened?" Edward demanded as he softly moved his thumb over the side of my wound.

"I don't know." I lied, feeling embarrassed. I looked at Edward, purposely avoiding the wound. He gave me a dark look. Before turning back to my arm, his thumb pressed harder on my arm as he moved back and forth. I glanced down to see what he was doing. I gagged when I saw that he was trying to rub off some of the blood that had dried onto my skin.

I looked away quickly and started to breathe heavy. I could smell it as the water washed it away, that distinct smell of copper. I closed my eyes and grabbed onto the counter top, my fingers digging into the wood. I swallowed hard as I felt the light headed. It wasn't from the loss of blood it was the sight of the lost blood.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked, letting go of my arm and turning off the water. I looked up at him carefully and nodded. He reached across the sink and grabbed a handful of new paper towels; he bunched them together before pressing it hard to my arm. I followed him to the kitchen table, making sure to take deep breaths in case my legs decided to give out.

He sat me on the closest wooden chair next to the table. I replaced his hand with mine as he went to the cupboard at the end of the kitchen to get the first aid. I frowned at him when I saw him pull out a first aid kit. I spent five minutes in the bathroom looking for that kit. Who the heck keeps first aid in their kitchen?

He sat in the chair across from me and laid the contents of the kit on the table. He didn't look at me as he reached for my arm, I handed it to him without argument. He was gentle as he pulled the water soaked paper towel from my arm and dabbed the cut with rubbing alcohol. I flinched when it started to bubble, killing the germs. I stared at his hands as he ran a finger over the cut, it wasn't very deep. It just bled a lot.

"Good news there's no need for stitches." Edward told me, he didn't seem too happy.

"I'm sorry," I apologized rapidly.

He gave me a confused look.

"For what happened in the car…and for bleeding on your floor." I added the latter part, hoping that he would dismiss the first part of the sentence. It was hollow hope.

"Bella," Edward's voice was low, the exact same tone he said in the Volvo. I flinched and waited anxiously for him to finish his sentence. He sighed. "I'm the one who should be apologizing."

I looked back at him waiting for him to continue. He reached for the gauze in the first aid. I watched patiently as he wrapped it tightly around my arm. It stopped bleeding so the gauze was still white as he wrapped it on its third layer.

"I shouldn't have led you on." He sighed as he cut the gauze with the scissors he had in the first aid. I could feel my heart break as I listened closely to his words. "It was rude of me and very ungentlemanly." He looked at me after he finished cutting the gauze. I stared back at him, biting my lip so he couldn't hear my sob. "Do you forgive me?" Edward asked.

I blinked before nodding. I swallowed the new lump in my throat. "Yeah," I choked out. "I forgive you."

Edward smiled at me. "Good." He grabbed the tape and wrapped it around the gauze. I watch silently as he bit the tape, ripping it. "All done," he smiled.

"Thanks," I smiled back.

"Wait." Edward grabbed my arm. I turned back to him, my heart pounding in my ears.

"What?" I asked when he didn't say anything.

"You have something on your lips." He told me moving his hand from my arm.

"Oh," I frowned as I watch his hand grab onto my cheek, I blushed. He leaned forward squinting his eyes as he cupped my cheek in his hands. He closed his eyes and quickly closed the distance between us, his lips pressing against mine. I closed my eyes quickly and pressed my lips back to his, taking advantage of my second kiss with Edward.

I wrapped my hand into his hair, getting quickly lost into the kiss, and remembering an old movie I was watching last week. I opened my mouth a little, letting my tongue graze his bottom lip. Edward pulled away from me quickly and threw himself out of his chair. He walked around the kitchen grabbing onto his hair. I stared at him in shock, embarrassed by my kissing skills.

"I'm sorry," I finally whispered.

He held out a finger towards me. "Just give me a second."

I nodded and pulled my knees to my chest as I watched him pace the room. He stopped in the middle of the kitchen in front of the sink and turned to me, his hands still in my hair. He was taking deep breaths before he walked back towards me, sitting down in his chair. He looked at me with intense eyes.

"I'm _really_ sorry," I apologized again.

He shook his head. "There's nothing to be sorry about," his voice was europhic. I frowned. He smiled at me. "You have no idea how great of a kisser you are," Edward told me, his hands holding my face. I blinked in shock. "When you kissed me in the car all I wanted to do was take it a step further." He was quiet after he said this, waiting for my reaction.

"Then why did you apologize for leading me on?" I asked my voice hollow.

Edward smiled at me. "I was trying to be cute." He admitted.

I frowned.

"After I kissed you I was going to whisper, 'mine'." Edward blushed as his smile grew. I blinked, trying to remember what he had said before he kissed me. I wasn't the only one with amazing kissing skills. Then I remembered he told me I had something on my lips. I giggled before biting my bottom lip.

"I like that." I smiled at him.

"You don't think it's too corny?" Edward asked.

I shook my head. "No it's corny," Edward frowned. "But it's a cute corny."

He laughed before leaning in to kiss me again. I closed my eyes and waited patiently for him to kiss me. His lips were warm against mine as I fought the urge to deepen it, I didn't want to scare him off again. Edward's hand found my cheek again as he held me still, keeping me close to him. My eyelids tightened and I smiled to myself. I was kissing Edward…again!

He pulled away too quickly. I opened my eyes, my smile never leaving. He was smiling back at me.

"Does this mean we're going out?" I asked.

"Only if you want to," Edward told me.

I nodded. "I would love to."

**End Chapter.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"Drugs are a bet with your mind."  
-Jim Morison

**The Preyingmantis**

"Placing them in the same jar, the male, in alarm, endeavored to escape. In a few minutes the female succeeded in grasping him. She first bit off his front tarsus, and consumed the tibia and femur. Next she gnawed out his left eye...it seems to be only by accident that a male ever escapes alive from the embraces of his partner…" The TV groaned on as Emmett, Bella, and I sat on my couch. Both of their eyes were glued to the special on the Praying Mantis.

"Gross!" They both screamed together as Bella dropped the popcorn back into the bowl – that was conviently placed on her lap. Emmett grabbed another handful and shoved it into his mouth.

"I thought they were going to have sex." He mumbled through the popcorn.

"They are." I informed him – already seeing this special of the Praying Mantis. I reached for the popcorn on Bella's lap. She handed me the bowl her eyes never leaving the TV screen as the female Praying Mantis practiced her cannibalistic sex ritual.

"Gross!" They both screamed again their eyes never leaving the TV.

"I thought they ate their mate after they mate…" Bella pondered as she picked up the popcorn that fell onto her lap and set in her ash tray on the coffee table. I stared at her as she leaned back to the couch, her hands folded together on her lap.

"Some do. Some don't." I tried to sound casual about it, but I was feeling anything but casual. Bella nodded before resting her head on my shoulder.

My body stiffened at the sudden contact, I looked at Emmett for help. His eyes were still glued to the special on the Praying Mantis. I grabbed a handful of popcorn and lifted to my lips. I ate a couple and threw the rest at Emmett to get his attention, praying that Bella didn't notice. Emmett turned his eyes from the TV and was about to throw the popcorn back at me. I shook my violently and nodded towards Bella.

Emmett raised his hands in confusion. I nodded my head towards Bella again. Emmett raised his hands in the air and shook his head, telling me had no idea what I was getting at. I lifted my head so my chin was over Bella's head and mouthed: 'What do you I do now?'

He nodded his head as his lips made an 'o.' He lifted his right arm in the air and started to yawn loudly. After he was done yawning, his arm hanged in the air. I shook my head and mouthed 'what?' He rolled his eyes before doing the same movement again and nodding his head towards me. I shook my head again.

"He's telling you to put your arm around me." Bella said as she looked up at me. My eyes widened and a bright blush filled my cheeks. "You two have to be the most _obvious_ people in the history of the Y chromosome." She said more but it was drowned out by Emmett's laughing.

"Sorry," I mumbled still blushing. I was about to put my arm around her but she pulled herself off of my couch, her hand using my knee for support – thank God she didn't move her hand up any further up.

"I have to get ready for work, but I promise that you can hold my hand in the car." She teased as she walked off to her room.

"Have I told you today that I _love_ your girlfriend?" Emmett smiled at me as he pulled himself back onto the couch. I rolled my eyes and tried to focus on other things.

"Emmett naked in a pool full of naked nuns," I mumbled softly to myself, "Emmett naked in a pool full of naked nuns. Emmett naked in a pool of naked nuns."

--

"You seem happier today," one of the girls complimented me as I cleared off the beer bottles and shot glasses from one of my tables.

"Do I really?" I asked. "I hadn't notice." My smile didn't fade. I _was_ happier, not only did I have the greatest boyfriend in the whole entire world. My life was going amazingly well. I had my coke, my man, my job, and a place to live. Nothing could make it better.

"Bella," Rudy called out to me. I looked away from the table to see Rudy, a short balding man, walk towards me; as usual a cigar was stuck in his mouth. "How long have you worked here Bella?" He asked, pulling his cigar out of his mouth.

"Two weeks." I told him as I pulled a damp wash cloth out of my bucket that was now holding the dirty glasses.

"Hm," Rudy pondered. "I thought it was longer than that. But that's beside the point." He shook his head. "Rachel is going to teach you how to work the poles tonight. Stephanie left and we need a new stripper. It's your job to take her spot."

"Wait!" I dropped the bucket and dish towel onto the table. "I'm _not_ stripping. The deal was that I would be a waitress and that's it." I stalked after him as he walked to the employees' only room in the back of the club.

"The deal was also that men wouldn't be able to touch you, but that didn't last very long now did it?" He turned towards me as he said this, his cigar working on a granny ash. "Now you can either strip or leave, there's no in between."

"But I need this job." I pounded my fist on his desk.

"And I need a stripper. See how well that works out?" His small head was covered with a smile. "Now you either go out there and learn how to strip or you find yourself a new job and I'm sure that being a waitress at a local strip club is going to look great on your work résumé." His voice was laced with sarcasm.

"I don't even know how to strip." I growled at him my fist balling up on his desk.

"Just dance and take off your clothes, it's not that hard." Rudy informed me as he pulled out his chair and sat behind his desk.

"If it's so easy why don't you do it?" I shot at him. I was furious that he was threatening to take away my job unless I stripped for him.

"As hard as it may be for you to believe, most of the men here would much rather prefer a barely legal eighteen year old dancing for them instead of a forty something strip club owner." Rudy's voice was dripped with sarcasm.

I took a deep breath and dug my nails into my skin. "When do I go on?" I asked, my body shaking with furry. I needed this job more than I needed my morals.

Rudy leaned back in his chair and smiled, "Whenever you're ready sugar pie."

"I hate you." I spat at him.

His smile didn't falter. "If you do a good job I'll let you have a line of my coke. Now go run off and play with your stripper friends."

--

We spent the rest of my shift working on my technique for the poles. Rachel was more supportive than I'd thought she would be. She gave me tips and didn't laugh at me when I fell (which was a lot). I wasn't very good at dancing, my week in ballet lessons didn't help much either. It was harder than it looked to be a stripper, it wasn't about taking your clothes off and grinding on the pole, there was an art to it and _a lot_ of upper body strength.

I groaned softly to myself as I pulled myself off the bus stop bench. I had several bruises running across my back, knees, and legs from when I fell off the pole. Luckily I had tomorrow off to recover (and practice some more) before I hit the poles for the first time on Monday. Rachel burned me a copy of the music that I would be dancing to – a three minute song about the Red-light District and how it's fun to please old man in black ties by being a stripper.

Headlights came closer and I smiled to myself, knowing that Edward was finally here to pick me up. I grabbed my purse as I watched the car slow down and the tinted windows of his Volvo reflected my image back at me. I smiled at him through the windows – knowing that he could see me better than I could see him.

I pulled myself off the park bench and walked to his Volvo, pulling the knob to the car. Edward was smiling at me as I sat in the front seat next to him. His hair was a mess and paint covered his face and hands. I gave him a smirk as he started the car again – accelerating slowly for my benefit.

"Been painting?" I asked. Edward looked at me, his smile never fading and nodded once.

"I'm almost done to." His smile didn't falter.

"Do you think I can see it?" I asked dropping my purse to the bottom of his car.

Edward shook his head. "Not till it's done."

"When will it be done?" I asked reaching for the buckle of my seatbelt.

Edward shrugged. "Depends on how much time I spend on it. I'd give it a week or two." He smiled at me.

I nodded, excited that he was almost done with his painting. I didn't realize how long it usually took for an artist to finish a painting. Edward told me on average it usually took him as long as a month (maybe two) to finish a painting. It showed a lot of dedication.

"So I have a question." I stated my fatigue washing away.

"Go for it." Edward grinned.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, right?"

Edward nodded.

"I was wandering if we could go to church?" I stated coolly though my heart was pounding in my chest. I wasn't sure how big Edward was on religion.

Edward turned to me raising an eyebrow. "Well this is unexpected." His voice was laced with suspicion.

"My mom use to take me to church when I was little, I miss it." I admitted timidly.

Edward smiled at me. "We'll go then. Do you mind if I bring Emmett along? He's long overdue for a good saving."

I shook my head. "No, the more the merrier." I smiled at him.

--

I nudge Emmett in the side. He was snoring as the preacher groaned on with his sermon. I took Bella to our old church that we use to attend when we lived with Esme and Carlisle. We were all dressed in our 'church clothes,' Bella in a baby blue sun dress that Alice lent to her, and Emmett and me in our black slacks and a button up white shirts. The sun shined down on us through the stained glass window with a picture of baby Jesus and Mary holding him. I smiled to myself as I glanced at Bella; she was perfectly stilled as she listened to the words of the preacher. She glanced up at me and smiled before lacing her fingers with mine.

"Thank you for taking me here." She whispered softly to me before she turned her attention back to the preacher.

I couldn't get myself to listen to the preacher as I stared at the beautiful creature next to me. It was a miracle that she was brought into my life. Hell, it was a miracle that she was still alive, every day she grew more amazing, surprising me more and more as took everything in with stride not letting things affect her. She was a lot stronger than she gave herself credit for.

I was broke out of my thoughts when a large object fell on my shoulder. I looked to my side to see the still snoring Emmett laid his head on my shoulder. I rolled my eyes before shrugging him off of me. He jerked his head up before letting out a low yawn, his fists rubbing his eyes. He was never the one to willingly go to church, when we were younger Carlisle and Esme had to literally drag him to church. When he got older (and a lot harder to carry) they use to bribe him with his allowance and dating privileges. Either way it was tradition for us all to wake up early Sunday morning and attend the sermon.

"I hate church," He mumbled to me crossing his arms across his chest.

"Then why did you come?" I shot back at him.

"I thought you were talking about the strip club down in the Red-light District." He mumbled dryly to me. I gave him a confused look before turning my attention back to the priest. He was staring at us his eyes dark as he said his sermon. Emmett waved his hand at him a forced smile on his lips. It was the same preacher that we had when we were little, so he was _very_ aware that Emmett's sleeping habit.

The service ended shortly after Emmett woke up from his nap. As everyone shuffled out of the pews, Father Carmen came up to us, his face stern as he walked up to Emmett.

"Emmett." His voice was filled with disappointment. "It's good to see you again. I see your sleeping habits haven't changed." I let out a low snicker.

"Have you ever heard of osmosis Father?" Emmett asked. I was pretty sure it was called something else but I let it slide, not wanting to get in the middle of the argument between Emmett and Father Carmen.

Father Carmen rolled his eyes. "Please tell me you got something out of my service Emmett." He begged.

Emmett shook his head. "No, but I did learn that female Praying Mantis eats their mates after and sometimes during sex."

"Why do you even come if you don't pay attention Emmett?" Father Carmen asked. I couldn't help but to feel sympathy for the old man.

"Because she tricked me," Emmett pointed to Bella.

"How did I trick you?" Bella's voice was high with shock as her eyes widened.

"Because if a hot girl says that she wants to go to church with you, you don't think the house of God, you think of that hot strip club down in the Red-light District." Emmett tried to explain. I grabbed the bridge of my nose and shook my head, embarrassed by Emmett.

"Tell Carlisle the offer on the exorcism still stands." Father Carmen turned to me, holding out his hand.

"I'll pass on the message." I promised before taking his hand and shaking it. He turned to Bella and gave a slight nod before walking off to greet other guests.

"I can't believe you said that, Emmett!" Bella's voice was still high from the shock.

Emmett shrugged. "He always told us it was a sin to lie."

I shook my head before pushing Bella and Emmett out of the church before someone else recognized us and Emmett decides to start an inappropriate conversation with them.

--

"Boys and girls in the Red-light district if you want to spin around the pole like a beauty queen."I mouthed the lyrics as I danced around my room, mimicking the moves that I would be doing on the pole tomorrow. I was doing a twirl on the floor when I lost my footing and fell onto the carpeted floor. I let out a loud scream as I waved my arms in my air. A loud thud echoed throughout the room.

I started laughing at myself before I pulled myself onto my feet again. I was europhic off the coke that I bought off of Rudy. It'd been awhile since I had a good rock star line and I couldn't be happier to be dancing in my room as I practiced being a stripper. I pressed the back button on my CD player as I started from the beginning of my routine, staying focus on my every movement, hoping not to fall again. A loud knock broke me out of my routine. I growled in frustration before turning down the volume.

"I'm ok." I yelled at the person behind the door. "I just tripped."

"Bella," Alice yelled at me through the door. I smiled to myself as I pressed the stop button on the radio and walked across the room to open the door for her. "Bella," Alice's voice was low when I opened the door. She was frowning at me. "Come with me please."

My heart sank as I followed her to the kitchen. Emmett, Jasper, and Edward were sitting around the table, a cup of coffee in their hands. My stomach started to flip as I walked further into the kitchen.

"Oh my gosh," I whispered. "Who died?"

Edward gave me a dark glare before throwing a small bag onto the table – it was filled with cocaine.

**End Chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong."  
-Stella Adler. (My favorite quote of all time)

**Run Away**

Emmett got to the front door before I could. His large hand pushed it back before I even got it out of the frame. I yanked on the doorknob again but the door didn't budge. I thought about running back to my room and climbing out of my window but we were on the top floor and there was no fire escape anywhere near my window, though suicide did seem like a better option than being here right now.

I turned around and glanced around the room for another escape. Emmett chose to take this opportunity to grab me around my waist and squish me to his chest. I gasp out of loss of breath and anger. My feet began to fly as I tried to get out of his grip – he didn't flinch.

"Let go of me Emmett!" I screamed my heel colliding with various body parts. "Let me the fuck go!" I continued to scream as I tried to pull myself out of his arms.

"Alice, get the rope." Emmett called over his shoulder. My eyes widened and I continued to fight against him as he held me tighter to him.

"No one is going tie you down, Bella." Jasper said calmly as he walked into the room – his face emotionless. "Emmett, stop scaring her." Emmett let out a low huff before he carried me back to the kitchen, Jasper following close behind.

"This is fucking stupid!" I cried out. "How the fuck do you even know it's mine!" I continued to scream as I kicked my feet against his thighs. "It could have been very well have been Jasper trying to frame it on me." I was crying now, knowing very well that it was mine and that I was caught.

Emmett threw me down onto the chair across from Edward. I tried to get up but his large hand pushed me back down. "You have two options. You can either sit here like good little drug addict or I can get the rope." I looked up at him – his eyes were narrow and his face was hard. I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat. I have never seen Emmett like this. It was – for lack of a better word – terrifying.

"I'll be good." I whispered afraid to piss him off more than he already was.

"Good," he smiled at me before patting his large hand on my shoulder. I kept an eye on him as he took a seat next to me. He grabbed his cup of coffee across the table and took a deep gulp of it. I pulled my eyes away from him and looked at my hands on my lap. It was almost exactly like when my dad found out that I was a drug addict for the first time.

"How did you find it?" I whispered giving up trying on trying to pull off that it wasn't mine.

"I found it in the pocket in your bra," Alice whispered next to me. I closed my eyes, angry at myself for being so careless.

"How long?" I noticeably flinched at the pain in Edward's voice. Alice's cold hand grabbed mine, I looked at it as I thought about whether or not I wanted to tell the truth or not.

"Well it all started when I was thirteen," I tried to joke.

"This isn't funny, Bella." Edward growled at me. I flinched again.

"Not long," I finally whispered.

"Did you even try to stop?" The pain was still evident in his voice as it mixed in with the anger. I could feel my stomach do flips as the tears stung my eyes.

"Yes," I choked out a tear fell on Alice's hand.

"I don't believe you." Edward slammed his fist on the table.

"Edward," Alice hissed at him. I closed my eyes tighter as I bit back my bottom lip.

"How long were you planning on hiding this from me Bella?" Edward asked his voice was closer than I thought it would be. I still didn't look up at him or answer for that matter. I continued to stare at my hands, waiting patiently for me to wake up from my nightmare. "Answer me Bella." A cold hand grabbed my chin and pulled my face to the side. My eyes shot up at the contact and I came face to face with a very angry Edward.

Edward's eyes narrowed as I stared at him. His nostrils were flaring from his anger as he held my chin surprisingly gently in his hand. I could feel his breath quicken as I dragged the silence out. I forgot what he asked as he raised an eyebrow gesturing me that he was waiting for an answer. The only thing that I could think of was how I hurt him more than I thought I would. I thought about this moment before – where they would find out that I was still a drug addict and let me go, but I never expect it to hurt him this much.

"I'm waiting for an answer Bella." Edward's words were harsh with the hint of pain still on the edge of it.

I blinked away my tears as I tried to remember what he asked. "I didn't think it would matter." I answered quietly still not remembering what his question was. It didn't seem appropriate to answer his question with another question.

Edward closed his eyes before letting go of my chin. "Your right," he whispered. "It doesn't matter. You can leave first thing in the morning."

I could feel all the muscles in my body slump – I was pretty sure if I wasn't already sitting down I would have fallen to the floor. I closed my eyes – no longer having the strength to keep them open. "I'll leave now." I whispered pulling myself away from the table.

"I'll make sure to keep an eye on the news stations – I'm pretty sure they still do news specials on overdoses in the middle of the alleys." Edward's words no longer held the pain they had once before – it was now anger.

"I hope your painting goes well." I whispered as I passed him. "Thank you for letting me stay here." I turned around to see the rest of his family stare at us their mouths open. "You can keep the cocaine if you want – divide it amongst yourselves."

I walked quickly to my room the tears that I was holding blurring my vision. I closed the door quietly as I grabbed at my arms and dug my nails into my skin. My breath came out in short gasps as I tried to calm myself down enough to get the hell out of there. "It hurts," I whispered to myself before falling to my knees. "It hurts so much…"

**(Keep reading…)**

--

I grabbed onto the end of my hair as I sat on the floor in the middle of what used to be my art room. All my paintings were smashed, my clean canvases ripped, my paint splashed across various parts of the room, and my paint brushes laid broken at my feet. I growled in frustration as I pulled harder at my hair. I didn't want to admit to myself that I missed her. I missed her more than I had ever missed anyone before in my life. I missed the way that she smiled when she got her way or the way that she laughed when Emmett made a joke about her being a prostitute.

A low rustling came from beside me. "Don't you ever go home?" I growled still staring at the floor.

"How could you do that to her Edward?" Alice asked softly. I was surprised that she was talking to me. "She loved you," Alice whispered softly her small hand ran through my hair, grabbing my hand into her small one.

"How can she love me if she can't even love herself?" I shot back at her.

"Addiction is hard Edward." Alice whispered. "You didn't honestly expect her _not_ to relapse did you?"

I looked up at her. She was kneeling down next to me, her small face inches from mine. "You act like that makes it ok, that because she was addicted to cocaine it gives her a right to throw her life away." I hissed at her, angry that she would sympathize with Bella.

"Edward," Alice's voice was pleading. "Listen to yourself. Yesterday you were bragging about the fact that you were able to put your arm around her and now you're biting everyone's heads off because of something that we all knew that was going to happen eventually." Alice's hand grazed my cheek.

"I thought she was stronger than that." I whispered to her.

Alice frowned at me before leaning forward her hands wrapping around my back. I buried my head in her shoulder. "She's strong but she's not invincible, Edward." Alice whispered in my ear.

"I screwed up everything didn't I?" I asked softly holding her closer to me.

"Not everything," Alice whispered pulling away. She grabbed my cheeks and smiled. "You still have me and Emmett."

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?" I teased.

She opened her mouth in mock shock and slapped my arm. "That wasn't very nice." She said in mock pain.

I smiled at her. "No, it wasn't was it?"

She smiled back at me. "Emmett and Jasper went out to find Bella. They're going to bring her back home."

I frowned. "You think that she'll come back?" I asked.

Alice nodded. "Emmett's going after her. She'll come back, whether or not she'll stay, well that's up to her."

I sighed before looking back at the floor.

"C'mon Eddie," Alice touched my knee getting my attention. Her small face was covered with a smile. "Let's clean this up before Bella gets home.

Bella didn't come home that night or the night after that in fact she didn't come at all. We went to the restaurant that she was supposedly working at and they never even heard of her before. We spent the rest of the week looking for her but everywhere that she should have been she wasn't. I kept her cocaine – afraid to let go of the only thing of hers that I had left.

"I still say that we should check the strip clubs." Emmett mumbled when yet another restaurant didn't recognize the description that we had of her.

"She's not stupid enough to become a stripper, Emmett." I shot at him as we got into my Volvo.

"Just because you're not stupid enough to become a stripper doesn't mean that she's not. That's the first thing I would do if I was cocaine addict." Emmett encouraged his decision.

"You have a roll of ones in your wallet don't you?" I accused him as I turned on the engine to the car.

"Nothing in the bible says that a man can't look at a naked woman – just as long as we don't touch them." Emmett smiled at me. I didn't bother arguing with him as I put the car in drive and drove to the Red-Light District. "One day you're going to thank me for this," Emmett continued to smile as he pulled out his wallet.

"I hope I don't." I mumbled as I tried to remember that this was for Bella and not the fact that Emmett had decided to risk his marriage. "Why are you so interested in strippers anyways, you're married to Rosalie Hale!"

Emmett shrugged. "It's not really the strippers as much as the concept behind the strippers."

"Rosalie won't have sex with you will she?" I asked – knowing this routine.

"Yes," Emmett groaned. "It's another one of her stupid diets. Her sex drive dies down when she doesn't eat."

"I'm adding that to my growing lists of things I didn't need _or_ want to know about you and Rosalie's marriage." I muttered bitterly.

It didn't take us to find a strip club – there were plenty to choose from.

"Let's see. We have the Bad Kitty, Rainbows are our Friends – that would be perfect for you Edward, Teasy Mc Dry Hut, They're All Fake Not That You Care – seriously that's the name of the club, Tia's Taco Shack, and last but not least the Amish Ankle Room – which sounds oh so promising."

"These have to be the worst strip club names ever invented." I mumbled as I drove slowly through the street looking at the bright flashing signs that screamed out XXX, Naked Women, and Free Booze.

"Amish Ankle Room it is." Emmett smiled as he grabbed onto the wheel and steered it into an empty space next to a parking meter. I stepped on the brake in shock when I thought I lost control of the car.

"Don't ever do that again!" I screamed at him but it was to no success he was already half way out of the car, the door closing quickly behind him. I didn't make any movement to leave the car.

"You coming?" Emmett asked when didn't leave the car.

I shook my head. "You go in – see if she's there and then come out."

Emmett smiled and nodded once. "Gotcha." He left my window to head towards the strip club.

"If you're not back in ten minutes I'm calling Rosalie!" I threatened.

--

"We're just coming to pick up my money," I mumbled to Mike as we limped down Red-light District. I was supposed to work tonight but I got out by twisting my ankle when I was practicing pole dancing. I warned Rudy that I was a bad dancer but did he believe me? He let me keep my job as a waitress and gave me an extra bonus if I promised not to sue him. It would have been a nice gesture if I didn't give it all back to him when I bought three eight balls of coke.

"How much are you getting this week?" Mike asked anxiously next to me, he lost his job a couple of weeks ago, his girlfriend kicked him out, and wasn't qualified for unemployment. I was the only one with a job and it wasn't easy paying for two drug addictions, cigarettes, and an apartment on a waitress salary. I was thinking about leaving him on a corner and see if anyone would pick him up.

"I don't know," I sighed. "Not much, I owe him a lot of money." I admitted sheepishly.

I limped around the corner and headed closer to the Amish Ankle Room when I saw _his_ Volvo.

**End Chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes, but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space."  
-Johnny Cash

**Lullaby**

I tried to grab on Mike's jacket but I couldn't get my fingers around the fabric quick enough. I fell onto my butt as I stared at the familiar silver Volvo in front of me. Mike raised an eyebrow and was about to ask one of his ridiculous questions when I put my finger to my lip and let out a low 'sh.' I pulled my finger from my lips and held out my hands for Mike to grab and pull me to my feet. I flinched when I stepped on my sore ankle. Running was not an option right now, so the next best thing, walk away quickly.

I turned on my heel and limped away as fast as I could. Wherever Edward was Emmett would be to and I don't think that I could out run Emmett. Heck! I don't think a Cheetah could out run Emmett. I started to limp faster. Mike following close behind me – confused. He moved his mouth to say something again but I pressed my finger to my lip. He pouted but didn't say anything else. I grabbed onto his shoulder and tried to pull myself up so I wasn't putting too much pressure on my swollen ankle.

"What's going on?" Mike finally asked when he was sure that I wouldn't hit him.

"Ex-boyfriend," I informed him as I tried to limp faster from the strip club.

"Bella," Mike turned me around and made me stare at him. I flinched when I accidently put pressure on my swollen ankle. "You can't keep running away from your past." Mike repeated something he heard off of Dr. Phil. "I know that you're afraid that it might be awkward between you two but the past is the past."

"Mike you don't understand! I-" He held up his hand to stop me.

"I understand perfectly well Bella. You're afraid that things will be awkward between you two, but the past is the past." Mike smiled at me as he pushed me – awkwardly – towards the Amish Ankle Room.

"Mike you don't understand," I screamed at him as I tried not to fall and keep pressure off my ankle at the same time. "It's not that I'm afraid it's going to be awkward its –" Mike shook his head again before walking in front of me so he could pull me by my arm. I growled in frustration as I grabbed onto the side of the brick building with my free hand. My fingers were digging into the rough texture as Mike pulled my arm. "We can get my paycheck after he leaves." I screamed at him when he wouldn't let go of my arm.

Mike yanked on my arm and I lost my grip on the building. I stumbled forward flinching every time that I put pressure on my swollen ankle. "Ouch. Ouch." I screamed at him as I walked awkwardly behind him. He didn't slow down his pace or let go of my arm.

As we got closer to the Volvo I walked quickly so I was next to him. We walked together – he was on the side where the Volvo was park and I was manipulating my body so I could hide beside him. He was a skinny from all the cocaine – so it made it difficult for me hide my body behind (or in this case next to) his.

I looked at the tinted windows to see if I could maybe get a glimpse of him – but they were too dark. I was slightly grateful for the small miracle that was the tinted windows, even though I knew that if he decided to look out his passenger's window at anytime he could easily see me and my pathetic attempt to hide beside Mike.

Mike opened the door for me and I threw myself into the strip club – anxious to avoid Edward. Though I didn't understand why Edward would be parked outside of a strip club anyways. I stared at the door as Mike followed in after me. I started to limp further into the strip club, my eyes still on Mike and the closing door. I was about a foot into the club when I hit something hard. I pulled away and mumbled a loud apology – mentally praying that it wasn't a drunken horny man. When I was finally away from the hard object I looked up at it and fought the urge to cry.

"Hello Bella." Emmett smiled down at me. He was holding a cell phone in his hands, it was visibly vibrating and the light was shining on it. I read the caller ID – it read _Edward_.

"Fuck." I screamed loudly.

--

"Pick up the phone Emmett!" I yelled loudly into the receiver as I got out of my car. I was almost positive that Bella was in the strip club that he had just walked into. The phone continued to ring in my ear as I walked around the car to the passenger's side. I didn't want to walk in – incase Bella decided to run. The last thing I wanted or needed was to cause a scene.

The doors to the strip club opened and loud screams from both a male and female came from it. I flipped my cell phone shut and stared in horror as I saw Emmett carry a kicking and screaming Bella out of the strip club. They were accompanied by a tall boy that was screaming at Emmett to let Bella go. I ran towards them my heart beating loudly in my chest.

"Open the door to the Volvo Edward!" Emmett ordered me. I turned around and grabbed clumsily onto the door handle and pulled it open. The guy behind him was screaming at us about paying us back. Emmett threw Bella in the back seat and closed the door on her. Bella slammed her hands onto the window as she tried to open it. Emmett smiled at her and started to make faces. She audibly growled before crawling across the back seat to open the other door. "Damnit!" Emmett yelled as he ran to the other side of the car to make sure Bella didn't open the other door.

"I'll pay for whatever she owes." The guy that was screaming at Emmett was now screaming at me. "Just give us some time! I promise we'll have whatever amount of money you need in less than a week."

I chose to ignore the rest of his screaming and walked to the driver side of my Volvo – ignoring Emmett's ring around the Volvo game he was playing with Bella. I was slightly embarrassed that we just publically kidnapped a stripper, but it was the red-light district, sadly this type of thing happened all the time. I opened the driver's door and jumped into the car. The keys were still in the ignition and so all I had to do was turn it and wait for the engine to start up. It started up quickly – purring softly – I pushed it into drive and pressed my right food on the accelerator – leaving Emmett behind.

"Are you ok Bella?" I asked ignoring Emmett's screaming as he kicked the concrete under his feet.

"Can I go home?" Bella asked – her voice was choked.

"You _are_ going home." I tried to smile at her.

"Is this some kind of sick joke," she looked at me through the mirror. Tears were falling down her eyes smearing her mascara. "You kick me out only to bring me back a week later." Her voice was high and shaking after every word. "What the fuck is your problem." Her nostrils were visibly flaring.

"I'm sorry," I apologized.

"For what?" Her voice was sharp.

"For everything that I've done that has _ever_ hurt you." I whispered.

"You sound like an old romance novel." Bella snapped at me as she climbed into the front seat. I could feel a string being pulled on my heart, it was almost like old times, I would say something corny and she would make a negative comment about it.

"Does this mean you forgive me?" I asked turning to her.

She shook her head. "There's nothing to be forgiven for," she whispered her anger slowly fading. "I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have lied."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked taking a right hand turn – mentally reminding myself to call Rose to pick up Emmett.

"I don't know." She lied before leaning down in the front seat. "I spent all my life disappointing people and for once in my life I wanted someone to be proud of me." She whispered. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"I am proud of you Bella." I made sure to look at her as I said it. "I'm proud that you're still here even after going through so much. I'm proud that you can make cheesy jokes about things that I know bother you. And I'm proud that you can out smart Emmett." I made sure to chuckle after the last line so she could see the humor in it.

Bella smiled shyly to herself. "I missed you," she looked up at me. "I know I probably sound like some cheesy seventies movie, but it was scary being on my own again – even if it was only for a week."

"It was scary for me to." I reached to grab one of her hands – she gave it to me. I smiled to myself as I wrapped my fingers around her warm flesh. "I didn't know if you were still alive, dead, or using. I was terrified." I admitted.

Bella frowned at me. "Why do you have to be so perfect?" She asked removing her hand from mine. "Why do you have to say the right thing at the right time? Why can't you be angry at me and tell me to get out of your life?"

I frowned at her – confused by her reaction.

"I spent the whole week convincing myself that I was better off without you. That the reason I was using is because I was happy with the way that my life was going and that drugs only made me happier." Her voice started to choke as she neared the end of her sentence – she was crying. "But now as I sit her in your Volvo I feel happy Edward. I've never been so happy before in my life." She was starting to sob.

"If you're so happy than why are you crying?" I asked frantically still confused by her reaction.

"I don't know!" She sobbed out as she hid her face behind her hands. She was giggling to herself.

It was one of those contagious giggles that once someone starts everyone has to join in and finish. I smiled down at her before chuckling to myself. Soon we were both laughing, her through her tears, and me through my awkwardness of her tears. There was much more crying, talking, and arguing that would happen later on but right now the relief of having each other back was overwhelming and the only thing that could cure it was a good, genuine laugh.

--

I stared silently at the wall in front of me. The withdrawals were already starting to kick in. My hands were shaking, my head hurt, nauseous was making it difficult for me to sleep – though I was very tired. In a matter of hours I would be hunched over a trash can crying as I vomited whatever Edward would push down my throat. I begged and pleaded with him not to let any of his family members over for a couple of days. I was still embarrassed and ashamed of being caught doing drugs and stripping – though I did tell him the embarrassing story of how I twisted my ankle as I tried to spin around the pole – he laughed at me…a lot.

I turned around and smiled to myself. Edward was lying next to me, his eyes still closed and breathing lightly. He promised to stay with me tonight – mostly because I was an emotional wreck and didn't want to be alone. I felt guilty for bullying him into it, but I was still grateful that he stayed with me through the whole night. I closed my eyes and let out a low huff, my headache was slowly and very painfully turning into a migraine.

"How are you feeling?" Edward asked groggily next to me.

"What no good morning?" I tried to make a joke out of it but my headache was so painful that it was actually hurting my eyeballs.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked his voice frantic.

I nodded. "I just have a headache." And I feel nauseous – I added the later part to myself.

"Do you want me to get you anything?" The panic was evident in his voice.

"You act like I'm about to have a baby." My attempt at humor was over powered by the pounding in my head. "I'm fine," I tried to lie. "I just need a glass of water and some Tylenol."

"Do you want me to call Carlisle?" Edward asked as he got out of bed. I couldn't see him but I could feel and hear his frantic movements.

I shook my head. "No, it's just a migraine." I pulled the covers over my head and pushed my head into the pillow as I tried to focus on something else instead of the growing pain in my head. "And so it begins…"I whispered to myself as I let out a small moan of pain as the tears build up in my eyes.

--

"It's been a week." I yelled at Alice over the phone. Bella hadn't gotten out of bed, she barely slept, she refused to eat and when she did eat she would get really nauseous and sometimes throw it up. "She didn't last this long last time!" I continued to scream at her.

"Everybody reacts differently to withdrawals Edward." Alice said calmly. "There's no telling how long it will last. Her body is trying to get over the shock of not having substances in her system."

I growled in frustration before hanging up on her. She told me the same thing all the websites said. Withdrawals were different for everyone and there was no defiant answer how long it would last. I sighed to myself before I fell down onto the couch. Bella was asleep in my room – I slipped sleeping pills into her water when she wasn't looking. Carlisle was giving me medication to slip into Bella's food and drinks when she wasn't paying attention. I promised Bella that I wouldn't bother my family with her problems, but they were just as concerned as I was. Everyone liked Bella, well everyone besides Rosalie, she wasn't happy about the fact that I left her husband in the Red-light District so I could bring home a stripper. In my defense I promised Emmett that I would him back for the bail fee.

"What are you still doing up?" A low voice came from beside me. I looked up to see Bella walking towards me – she was wearing her favorite pair of basketball shorts and my wife beater. She was stiff and her face twisted every time she made a small movement.

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" I asked avoiding her question.

She shrugged before taking a seat next to me. "Sleeping pills only last so long." She smiled up at me.

"How did you know?" I asked shock clearly evident in my voice.

"You just told me." Bella smiled at me. I raised an eyebrow. "I had an idea that you were slipping pills into my drinks and you just confirmed it." I smiled at her. She was very sneaky. "Don't worry," she added quickly. "I'm not mad, I know you only did it because you care…and I'm sure my moaning was starting to get annoying."

I shook my head. "You don't annoy me, Bella." I grabbed her hand in mine. She smiled before laying her forehead on her shoulder. I stared at her arm – there was a small pink line on her arm from where she cut herself. It seemed like forever ago – I almost forgot about it. "Bella," I decided it was no or never.

"Hmm," she whispered not lifting up her head.

"How did you get that cut on your arm?" I asked. I looked at Bella as I waited for her reaction.

"Promise you won't freak." Bella whispered. I nodded knowing very well that I probably was going to freak if it was what I thought it was. "I was cutting up lines of coke." She whispered softly. "I got distracted and I _accidently_ cut my arm."

I was quiet as I listened to her words. It was defiantly different than what I thought it was and for some reason I felt grateful that it wasn't what I was thinking. I was grateful that she wasn't in so much pain that she would intentionally put harm to herself. I removed my hand from hers and wrapped it around her shoulder bringing her closer to me. "I'm glad you didn't cut yourself," I whispered into her hair.

Bella shook her head against my shoulder. "I don't like blood," she admitted timidly. "I could never cut myself on purpose."

I ignored the fact that she said 'cut' instead of 'hurt.' I closed my eyes and listened to the soft rhythm of her breathing. I tried to follow along but I found it difficult, she was like a lamb, her breaths short and fast – I was more like a lion, my breaths large and slow. I smiled to myself I started to hyperventilate trying to keep up with Bella's breathing.

"Goodnight Bella." I whispered into her ear before humming the lullaby that my mom used to sing to me before she died. I ran my fingers into Bella's hair and started to hum the lullaby louder. I stopped trying to match her breath – afraid that I would pass out if I continued to force myself to breathe that slowly.

"I love you, Edward." Bella whispered quietly in her sleep.

My heart stopped along with my breath and my eyes shot open. There was no way that I was going to sleep anytime soon.

**End Chapter.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"Marijuana leads to homosexuality ... and therefore to AIDS."  
- Czar Carlton Turner

**Emmett's Lament**

"Get up." Bella yelled at me. I blinked twice trying to get use to the foreign light that was shining through the window. I was lying in my bed though I didn't remember crawling into it last night. I lifted my head up and scooted up so I was now sitting on my bed instead of lying in it.

"What time is it?" I asked still blinking.

"Seven – thirty," Bella informed me before opening up my top dresser drawer. "Get dressed we have church in an hour." She closed it immediately before turning around an obvious blush on her cheeks. "Sorry," she apologized quickly. "I was looking for socks."

I chuckled softly before pulling the blankets over my legs. "Why are we going to church?" I asked walking up to her aware that I was only in my boxers. Bella seemed to be very aware of this to because she wouldn't stop blushing. "You know for someone that used to work at a strip club you're very modest." I teased her.

"I don't like naked people," she admitted awkwardly. "We're going to church," she wouldn't look me in the eye as she said this. "Because we need to keep the Sabbath day holy," she quoted me of the ten commandments.

"And this is coming from an ex drug addict, stripper that has a tendency to lie and steal lighters from her boyfriends," I observed raising an eyebrow.

"Boyfriend," Bella corrected. "And it's a part of my new image." She raised her arms to her side and did a twirl. "Now get some clothes on and meet me in the kitchen. I'm making breakfast." She walked out of my room. I smiled as I watched her leave. She was halfway out of the door when she turned around and poked her head through the door frame. "By the way if you have any socks that you're willing to share..."

"I'll send them your way." I promised her. She gave me an appreciated smile before walking out of my room again closing the door behind her. I rolled my eyes my smile never fading. We were going to church – again. I chuckled softly to myself before opening the first drawer to my dresser grabbing a pair of checkered boxers out.

--

"Trying to repent for all the fornication that you and Bella are doing?" Emmett laughed loudly over the phone.

"No," I sighed as I stared at my black buttoned up shirt and black slacks. I looked like a waiter. "Bella really wants us to start going to church and she would really appreciate it if you would join us." I tried to persuade Emmett. Bella guilt tripped me into inviting Emmett so I could make up for leaving him at the Red-light District.

"But I hate church." Emmett reminded me. "I've hated church since we were little and Esme made us be in that stupid play." I was unable to control my laughter as I thought back to the play that we did in the third grade. "That's not funny man." Emmett moaned. "I still haven't forgiven that stupid pixie." Emmett only called Alice a pixie when he was angry at her for something – in this case an old childhood memory that no one will let either of them live down.

"Just give it a chance," I tried to persuade him when I was stopped laughing. "You don't even have to listen to him, play your game boy for all I care. Just think of it as our way of apologizing for leaving you at the Red-light District."

"That's not much of an apology," Emmett grumbled loudly into the phone.

"I'm not buying you a prostitute." I said sharply. "Are you going to come or not?"

"Yeah I'll go," Emmett gave in. "But you're buying me lunch afterwards." Emmett hanged up after the later part.

_I closed my phone and staring at myself in the mirror again. I still looked like a waiter. I sighed before I started to unbutton my black top and decided to put on the navy blue one instead._

_--_

"Thanks for coming Emmett," I smiled at him as we waited for church to start. "You really didn't have to do this." He started to nod his head. I looked at Edward confused by Emmett's reaction.

"He's listening to his iPod." Edward whispered.

I looked back at Emmett and suddenly noticed the white wires that were poking out of his hat. I sighed to myself before turning back to Edward. "Thanks for the head up." I mumbled before crossing my arms over my chest.

He chuckled before wrapping his arm around me. "Don't take it personally." He whispered before pushing me closer to him. "He doesn't like church very much."

"Why?" I asked – confused to why Edward could enjoy it and Emmett couldn't.

Edward chuckled softly to himself. "It's a long story that I _promise_ I'll tell you sometime."

"All rise," one of the altar boys ordered. Edward removed his hand from shoulder as we got to our feet – Emmett following our lead. The words to the song flashed on the TV screen behind the altar boy as the preacher walked down the aisle to his podium. Edward grabbed my hand as we sang the words together. I smiled at him.

"Smack that, all on the floor." Emmett sang quietly next to me.

--

"I can't believe you would bring an iPod to church!" Bella continued the argument we started in the car. I sighed to myself as I put the key in the lock.

"What? It's not like anyone noticed." Emmett boasted loudly.

"God noticed!" Bella screamed at him throwing her hands in the air. "And even if no one noticed it's still disrespectful."

"She has a point there Emmett." I added my two cents when I thought it was safe. Bella turned to me and gave me a grateful smile. I smiled back at her before turning the knob to my door and pushing it open.

"About time," a familiar voice yelled at me.

I let out an audible groan and banged my head on the door frame. I thought about closing the door and just walking away – maybe bring Bella along with me.

"I'm getting a new lock." I warned Alice when I walked into my house. Emmett and Bella close behind me. As usual Alice ignored me and went straight to Bella – her hands stretched in front of her.

"She's back." Alice screamed wrapping her arms around Bella and pushing her close to her. "And she smells like stale cigarettes."

Bella laughed before wrapping her arms back around Alice. I rolled my eyes before looking at Jasper who was leaning against the door frame. "We ordered pizza," he told me.

"Good." Emmett said loudly before walking past Alice and Bella. "I'm starving."

"Where were ya'll?" Jasper asked while he punched knuckles with Emmett.

"Church," Emmett grimaced.

"How did you get Emmett to go to church?" Alice asked pulling away from Bella. Alice – like Emmett – wasn't a big fan of church since the incident that happened many, many years ago. I let out a strangled laughed as I closed the door behind me and went to join Emmett in the kitchen.

"That reminds me," Bella yelled after me as I walked into the kitchen. Emmett had his head buried into the fridge. "You need to tell me why Emmett doesn't like church."

"You told her?!" Emmett screamed at me pulling his head out of the fridge.

"Told her what?" Alice asked as she went into the kitchen.

"He told Bella about the fourth grade play!" Emmett screamed at Alice.

"You told her?!" Alice screamed at me before hitting my shoulder with the back of her hand.

"I haven't her told her anything." I raised my hands in defense.

"He hasn't." Bella defended. "But I would love to know why you hates church so much Emmett."

"I'm not telling it," Emmett grumbled.

"I'll tell it," Alice sighed before sitting on the table. "Emmett get me a Dr. Pepper," Alice yelled at Emmett. Emmettt – who was still standing in an open fridge – bent back down to grab the drinks for my guests.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Hold on."

"Get me coke while you're at it." Jasper ordered Emmett before sitting next to Alice. Bella sat on the other side of Alice and I sat on the side of Bella leaving one seat open for Emmett. I looked around the table and couldn't help but think of all the family holidays where we sat around this very table and talked about the Christmas production that we did when we little.

"Here," Emmett handed a coke to everyone – except for Alice and Jasper they got Dr. Pepper.

"I asked for a coke," Jasper complained.

"You get what I give you." Emmett growled before pulling the tab of his coke.

"So who's going to start telling the story this time?" I asked, loving every moment of this.

"It's the pixie's turn," Emmett grumbled chugging his can of coke.

"It was an accident," Alice defended before the story even started.

"What happened?" Bella asked grabbing Alice's hand from across the table. "Is it really that bad?" She looked up at me her eyes wide.

"It's not bad as much as embarrassing," Alice mumbled blushing. "I don't want to tell her anymore. Emmett you tell her."

"I'm not telling her." Emmett crushed the empty can of coke in his hand.

"I'll tell her." I offered enjoying the awkwardness of the story. I wrapped my arm around Bella and started chuckling when Alice and Emmett suddenly became interested in the floor and the ceiling. "It was our first year as a completed family. Carlisle and Esme had just adopted Alice and as a way for us to 'bond' Esme signed us up for the church play."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "That doesn't so bad."

"Wait for it." Jasper smiled over his Dr. Pepper. He had heard the story many times do to my slight obsession with sharing it at any family gathering. I was actually kind of surprised I hadn't told Bella this story yet, it was one of my favorites.

"Emmett was in a grade higher than Alice and I. He was in the fourth and we were in the third. So he got to be Joseph. I got to be one of the wise men, and Alice got to be the angel that told Mary the good news." I took a moment to take a sip of my coke – prolonging the awkwardness that was in the room.

"Alice, never the one to disappoint," I continued. "Conviently forgot to tell Esme that she wasn't feeling too well, so when they lowered her down from the ceiling," I paused and looked at Alice and Emmett. Alice was looking at the ceiling her hand over her mouth trying not to hide her smile. Emmett was grimacing at the floor a small blush on his face. "Alice got motion sickness. All. Over. Emmett." I made sure to make each word a sentence to emphasize the importance.

Bella and Jasper fell on the table laughing. Alice let out a little giggle and Emmett was blushing. Best story ever.

"You're kidding?" Bella asked through her laughing.

I shook my head chuckling softly to myself. "Carlisle has it on video tape. We play it every Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and whatever else we can think of." I started to laugh.

"Poor Emmett." Bella laughed softly looking at Emmett. He was blushing while he looked at the floor.

--

"Last one," Jasper promised grabbing a cigarette from my pack. I smiled at him as I handed him Edward's lighter.

"Sure," I mumbled sarcastically before grabbing one for myself. I lit my cigarette first before handing my lighter to Jasper. He took it gratefully.

"So how's sober life?" Jasper asked lighting his cigarette.

I shrugged. "Kind of boring," I admitted.

"Yeah I know what you mean." Jasper said through his cigarette. "I sometimes miss taking my clothes off for money to."

I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't a stripper."

"How do you explain the sprained ankle?" Jasper asked.

"Simple," I smiled at him. "I was training to become a stripper." He laughed before turning around so he was leaning over the railing on his stomach. "Did you ever do anything uncomfortable for money?" I asked.

He looked at me from the corner of his eye and sighed. "Do you wanna hear my story?" He asked.

I nodded.

Jasper sighed. "It's not very pleasant." He added.

"Neither is mine." I countered.

He gave me a smile before taking a deep breath. "Well…"

**End Chapter.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"Would you like to hear my story?  
It doesn't have a happy ending but which of ours does?  
If we had happy endings we'd be under gravestones right now."  
-Stephenie Meyer _Twilight_.

**Jasper's Story**

"I was seven when I found my mom dead in her room." Jasper admitted as he took a seat next to me against the railing. I handed him another cigarette and lit one myself. He smiled at me before taking my lighter from my hands when I took a deep breath of the tar. I waited for him to continue.

"She was my best friend," he started again. "She dropped acid after she gave birth to me and didn't recover from the trip – at least that's what my grandmother told me. My aunt – my mom's sister – told me that it was because of a seizure she had when she 'accidently' overdosed on heroin, either way she had a mindset of a six year old.

"She didn't stop doing drugs. I remember these weird men and women coming over and they would all huddle up in my mom's room. I use to get so angry because I was never allowed in there. I had to stay outside with my grandma – that used to make me say the rosary with her as she rocked me on the rocking chair in our apartment." Jasper was quiet. I was speechless as I listened to his story.

"The day she died," he continued. "I remember being so angry at my grandmother for not letting me see my mom that I broke her favorite rosary and ran to my mom's room. I tried to open the door but it was locked. I started to kick and scream at them to let me in." He was quiet again. I waited patiently for him to continue. "When they finally let me in she was sprawled on her bed with a tourniquet still around her arm. She wasn't moving. At first I thought she was dead than she started to have a seizure.

"Everything was going so fast. I thought she was playing a game and I got angry at her when she didn't stop. Her body was lifting off the bed and she was vomiting on herself. Her eyes started to roll in the back of her head and she kept on shaking. Her friends were yelling at each other to hide their syringes and drugs incase my grandma called the cops. No one cared about my mom who was having a seizure on her bed. When the ambulance finally came – it was too late. She had passed away.

"After she died I moved in with my grandma. She was strict and made me go to an all boys catholic school. She thought that if I was around the lord a lot that I would stay away from 'Lucifer's Candy.' She never liked the word drugs, drugs to her were the prescription medication that she use to pop with a bottle of wine every night before she went to bed."

"My dad calls it the devil's playground." I smiled at him. Jasper gave a low chuckle.

"I think I like Lucifer's Candy more." He smiled at me. It was nice to break the tension that had built up between us. We shared something in common – besides the fact that we were both drug addicts. "When I was fifteen," Jasper continued. "I made friends with a group of kids that use to smoke under the bleachers. I smoked my first cigarette and nearly coughed up a lung as I tried to pretend to be cool."

I started to laugh remembering the first time that I ever smoked. "That's nothing," I smiled. "I passed out the first time I ever smoked. I got really light headed and I tried to walk and I ended up losing my footing and falling on the cement floor. Instead of calling the nurse they proceeded to laugh and point."

Jasper chuckled softly. "Yeah, that sounds about right." He smiled at me.

"I'm sorry for interrupting, continue." I blushed in embarrassment.

"It's alright," He smiled. "After I coughed up my lung, I started to practice smoking outside of my apartment complex so the next time that I smoked with them it looked like it wasn't my first time with a cigarette in my mouth."

"Did it work?" I interrupted.

"Yeah it did." Jasper grimaced. "They invited me to a party later that week where we all chipped in and bought an eight ball of cocaine. A week later we chipped in again and bought meth. Right before it was my turn to hit the light bulb that we were smoking the meth from – my friend 

had to go talk to his mom and so I waited awkwardly with the guy that had sold us the meth. I had met him in passing but didn't know him very well. When we were sure my friend had left he looked me in the eye and said 'promise me you won't get addicted to this.'

"I smiled at him before blowing it off. 'Trust me I won't get addicted.' I promised him. 'I don't have an addictive personality.' He laughed dryly before shaking his head.

"'That's exactly what I told my friend right before I got addicted to meth.' He told me. And sure enough after I took the first hit I was addicted." Jasper was quiet as he remembered something that I could never imagine. I was trying not to cry as I stared at his somber face. "You know what pisses me off the most about that though?" I shook my head. "It's not the fact that I got addicted to meth, it's that a total stranger cared about me more than my supposedly 'best friend did.'" Jasper balled his fist before hitting his head on the railing.

I looked down to see both of our cigarettes with granny ashes as they cherry got close to the filler. I took a final hit before putting out the cigarette beside me. Jasper followed my lead.

"When I was seventeen my grandma enlisted me in the army as an attempt to break my drug problem." Jasper sighed.

"Did it work?" I asked.

Jasper shook his head. "I still did drugs. I use to pay other men to pee in the cups so the army wouldn't find the drugs in my system."

"Did that work?" I asked impressed.

"For a little bit," he admitted. "I accidently overdosed in my bunk room and was sent to the hospital." My heart skipped a beat. "I was there for about three days before they sent me to rehab in Washington. That's where I met Alice." Jasper smiled to himself. "I did everything to drive her away but she wouldn't leave me alone. She was an intern and got in a lot of trouble for taking a special interest in my case. She would come visit me on her days off and when I was released she took me out to dinner." The screen door opened to reveal a smiling Alice.

"Great dinner it was to," she smiled at him. "We both got food poisoning and ended up in the hospital." She laughed.

"Carlisle was the one who treated us." Jasper added. "Alice conviently forgot to mention me to her family and when big brothers Emmett and Edward found out..." Jasper trailed off as he shook his head as he pulled himself away off the floor.

"What did they do to you?" I asked – interested.

"Nothing that he couldn't handle," Alice smiled.

"Emmett put me in a head lock and told me that he would come after me if I ever hurt his little sister." Jasper shook his head again.

Alice's musical laugh echoed through the patio. "That's the reason I didn't tell them about Jasper." Alice defended. "Every time I brought a guy home Emmett would scare him off." I laughed as I pulled myself off of the patio floor. "C'mon the food is here." She walked back inside – Jasper followed after her and I after him.

--

"Very Van Gogh," I smiled at Edward as I stepped over a broken canvas. "Were you going for the struggling artist look? Because I think you got it." Edward turned towards me and smiled – his breath taking crooked smile.

"If you want I can cut off my ear and give it to you as a present." He teased before reaching for my hand. I grabbed his willingly – loving the chills he gave me every time we touched.

"No," I answered. "I think I'm ok. I'm not big on body parts being given to me in boxes."

Edward laughed loudly. "Close your eyes," he whispered to me. I closed my eyes and waited for him to do whatever he wanted to do. I was afraid to move in case I stepped on something that would hurt me. A cold hand wrapped around my eyelids as another wrapped around my waist. "Take a small step forward." Edward instructed me. I took a step forward. "Now take three large steps to the right." I followed his lead again.

"Damnit," I growled.

"What?" Edward asked nervously.

"I shouldn't have moved and waited for you to say 'Simon says,'" I complained. "It would have been cute." I voiced my displeasure about not thinking of it sooner.

Edward chuckled before removing his hand from my waist. "OK," I could hear the smile in his voice. "Don't open your eyes yet." He removed his hand from eyes. I sighed as I stood in the middle of his art room with my eyes closed. "You can sit down." Edward instructed gently pushing on my shoulders. I turned my head to floor to make sure there was a couch or something similar behind me – there was. I closed my eyes again before taking a seat on the paint stained couch. I started to sink as the cushions adapted to my body.

"I like your couch," I complimented.

"Thank you," Edward's was closer than I thought it would be. "Now," I could still here the same goofy smile. "Open your eyes." I did as he told me. I had to blink a few times to make sure that what I was staring at was real. Edward smiled at me as he went to sit next to me on the couch. "Do you like it?" He asked.

I couldn't say anything. I couldn't even nod. My eyes were glued to the beautiful painting of a girl that was smiling as a boy handed her a lighter. It was easy to tell it was night by the dark colors that he used. The brick of the building they were sitting outside of was a dark copper color and their clothes were shaded with dark hints of what their original color would be if they were in the light.

"It's beautiful." I finally breathed out. I pulled my eyes way from the painting and looked at Edward. "This is what you've been working on?" I asked still in awe.

Edward nodded. "I couldn't get myself to destroy it." He whispered before wrapping his arm around me. "It was the only picture I had of you."

"That's me?" I screamed. Edward nodded.

"It's supposed to be the first day we met. When-"

"I asked you for a lighter and you told me that smoking would kill me." I cut him off. He laughed and nodded. I leaned my head onto his shoulder. "Thanks Edward," I whispered. "It's beautiful.

He kissed the top of my head and wrapped his fingers with mine. "Not as beautiful as you." He gave me another kiss. I smiled softly to myself.

"Edward," I whispered his name.

"Hmm."

"What was your mom like?" I asked – hoping that I didn't touch a nerve.

Edward sighed before brushing my hair with his long fingers. "Beautiful, kind, and she loved to play the piano." Edward remembered. "She used to play at our Christmas parties. I would always sit next to her on the bench and watch her fingers move gracefully over the keys. Whenever she played it was like serenity moved over the room. Everyone would go quiet and all the negative thoughts would be removed from their minds. My mom stopped a lot of fights that way." Edward smiled to himself.

"What happened to her?" I asked squeezing his hand tightly in mine.

"She was always sick," Edward answered. "She was a chain smoker – worst than you." He gave me a slight shove. "And she developed lung cancer. She died a week before my sixth birthday." Edward whispered. I could feel my heart break.

"And your dad?" I pressured.

"Killed himself." Edward answered solemnly. I could feel my heart shattered. "My mom had a strong power over him – just like you have over me. He couldn't stand living a life without her. So he left me with a family friend and went home and shot himself."

"I'm sorry," I whispered through the lump in my throat. Edward shook his head.

"It's fine." He moved my hair behind my ear. "It was a long time ago, and if it hadn't happen I wouldn't have found you." He gave me a light kiss on my forehead.

"Why did Esme and Carlisle adopt you?" I asked.

"Carlisle was my mother's doctor." Edward recalled. "He was also the family friend that I stayed with when my father killed himself." I flinched when he mentioned his father's suicide. "He had already adopted Emmett and was planning on adopting another child, so it was really a blessing in disguise for him and Esme when they were asked if they wanted to be my adoptive parents."

"Did you and Emmett get a long?" I asked deciding to bring up – what I hope was – a happier topic.

"Not a chance." Edward laughed. "He used to beat me up."

"Did he really?" I asked in shock that they were so close now.

Edward nodded. "I still have a scar on my arm where he threw me into Esme's rose bush because I told Carlisle that he was the one that put our neighbor's cat in the gutter."

"Why did he put a cat in the gutter?" I asked – confused.

Edward shrugged. "I have no idea." He smiled.

"That's just weird." I laughed.

"He was always smart for his age and got bored easily. So he got in trouble a lot in school and with the neighbors. Esme tried to get him to learn to play the piano or pick up a hobby like I did but he would much rather play pranks on our neighbors and teachers." Edward smiled at me as he moved my hand behind my ear.

"What about Alice?" I asked. "What was Alice like?"

Edward laughed softly. "That my dear is a story for another day." Edward kissed my cheek before pulling himself off the couch.

**End Chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are messed up."  
- Author Unknown

**Lighter Burns**

"They're pink." I observed as I stared at my new freshly painted toe nails.

"I can add sparkles on them if you want." I looked at Alice – she was holding up clear nail polish with sparkles in it.

"No," I shook my head. "I think the pink is fine on its own." Alice laughed.

"So since we have the apartment to ourselves," Alice checked her watch. "For another four hours – what do you want to get for dinner?"

"Can we go out for dinner?" I asked desperate to get out of this apartment. Alice shook her head. I groaned and laid my head on my knees.

"Edward's rules," Alice shrugged. "Not mine."

"I won't tell him if you won't." I bargained. Alice shook her head. I frowned.

Edward was at an art show with Emmett and Carlisle where he was going to display his newest paintings. He offered to take me along but I didn't want to intrude and because Alice promised to spend the day with me. I thought she meant that we would go catch a movie. Maybe drive around for a couple of hours, not sit in front of the TV watching movies while we painted each other's nails. Edward made Alice promise that I wouldn't the apartment in case I decided to make a break for it.

"I promise as soon as you're released from house arrest I'll take you out for a night on the town." Alice patted my hand before pulling herself off the couch. "I'm going to order some Chinese, make some popcorn, and you pick what movie we get to watch next."

I grimaced as I grabbed the stack of DVDs on the table and started to go through them. I was about half way through the stack when I saw a movie that I actually heard about. I smiled to myself. I knew exactly what we were going to watch today.

--

"I love _Finding Nemo_," I squealed when the movie was over with.

"I can't believe you haven't seen _Finding Nemo_," Alice shook her head as she set her leftovers on the coffee table.

"I never got a chance to." I admitted putting my leftovers onto the coffee table next to Alice's. "I was always doing other things."

"So what do we want to watch next?" Alice asked, grabbing the stack of DVDs. "We have _the Lion King_, _Stardust_, _Princess Bride_, _Just Like Heaven_, and Emmett's favorite _Spaceballs_." She lifted the DVD in the air every time she said the title.

"Actually," I moved so I facing Alice. "I was kind of wandering if I could ask you a question."

"Of course," Alice sat the DVDs back on the table and turned to me – smiling.

"What were your parents like?" I asked crossing my legs under me.

"Oh," Alice's face dropped.

"I'm sorry," I said quickly. "You don't have to tell me."

"No," Alice shook her head. "I don't mind telling you." She smiled at me.

"It's sad isn't it?" I asked my face dropping.

Alice nodded.

"You don't have to tell me," I said again. "I understand."

Alice shook her head and lifted it up so she could see me. "My mom developed post pregnancy depression and killed herself shortly after I was born," Alice admitted. "So my dad raised me with my older sister."

"How old was your sister?" I asked my eyes never leaving Alice's face.

"She was ten when I was born. I use to get jealous that my dad would spend more time with her than he would with me." Alice pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "He used to send me to bed early and let my sister stay up with him. One night I had a nightmare and went to crawl in bed with my dad but my sister was already in there. I asked if I could crawl in bed with them because I had a nightmare but they wouldn't let me. They kept on screaming at me to close the door and go back to bed and I did." She laid her head on her knees.

"When I was six my dad sent my sister to boarding school. I was so excited when she left because I wanted to be the one that got to go into my Daddy's room at night." Alice admitted quietly – tears were building up in her eyes. "The night that she left my dad sent me to bed the same time he always did. I threw a tantrum, I stomped my feet, I cried, and I screamed at him to let me spend the night with him and how it wasn't fair that Cynthia – that was my sister's name – got to spend every night with him and I didn't. And you know what?"

I shook my head afraid of her answer.

"He never let me spend the night with him." Alice frowned. "He never once touched me inappropriately, said anything sexual towards me, or even looked at me in anything but a daughterly way."

"That's a good thing, right?" I asked – desperate to know why Alice was sad that her father never touched her.

"It is." Alice smiled at me – but it wasn't happy, there was no light in her eye, and her smile looked like it was being forced out of her.

"What happened to your dad?" I asked.

"Cynthia told her headmaster what happened between her and dad. My dad was arrested, Cynthia was put into therapy, and I got sent to different foster parents."

"How did you meet Esme and Carlisle?" I asked trying to find the happy ending to this story.

"The adoption agency needed some place to put me until they found a new foster home." Alice clarified. Esme volunteered to take me in until they found a foster home. She ended up falling in love with me and adopted me a few months later. I didn't mind, I loved everyone in that house – especially my adoptive brothers." Alice smiled at me.

"Did Edward and Emmett like you?" I asked through a smile.

"Emmett tried to marry me." Alice's smile grew.

"What?" I laughed.

"He told me that I had to fall in love with either him or Edward because that's what they did in the movies. And I chose him – mostly because he scared me." I laughed again. "Edward married us in a meadow by our house and when he told Emmett that he had to kiss the bride – we both screamed ewe and I pushed him into a puddle of mud left over from the rain the day before." Alice and I both started laughing again.

"Emmett hasn't change, has he?" I asked smiling.

"He was the most normal of us." Alice nodded. "His mom was a teenage mother and she gave him up for adoption after Emmett was born, so he spent his whole life with Carlisle and Esme. He was the one that kept Edward and me normal. He never let us complained about our lives and always reminded us how good we have it now."

"He's a good brother." I made it a statement.

Alice nodded. "He's a great brother." Alice smiled.

"Why did you want to work with teenage drug addicts?" I decided to change the subject.

"It was always my calling," Alice shrugged. "I was always the go to girl in high school when someone had a problem and it just stuck with me. I graduated early, went to college, and thanks to Carlisle I got an internship at local rehabilitation clinic connected to his hospital where I met my husband."

"That's a great story," I smiled. Alice raised an eyebrow. "I mean the later part not the beginning."

Alice laughed. "What about you? What's your story?"

"Not as exciting as yours." I sighed. "My mom died when I was seven and then my dad died when I was thirteen."

"I'm sorry," Alice frowned.

I shrugged. "The past is the past."

"How did they die?" Alice asked.

"My mom got hit by a truck." I lied. "She was in the parking lot at her job when ran across the ice and slammed her into her Nissan."

"And your dad?"

"Alcohol poisoning," I lied again. "After my mom died his drinking got really bad and he eventually drank himself to death."

"I'm sorry." Alice frowned. "Who did you stay with after he died?"

"Friends," I smiled. "It's really no problem." I waved my hand in front of my face. "It only sounds worst than it is." My smile grew.

Alice's grabbed her Dr. Pepper. "A toast," she raised it in the air. I followed her lead – grabbing my can of coke. "To people that grow and become stronger from their past."

"To us." I smiled. We banged our cans together and took a deep sip of the acid inside.

--

"Then Emmett decided to add his two cents and tell Professor Higgins that the drug addict in the picture is now living with me and sometimes we sleep in the same bed." Edward told me what I missed at the art show today. I fell back on his bed and continued to laugh.

"So what?" I asked. "It's the twenty first century, couples share the same apartment all the time and it's not like you and I ever do anything."

"You know that and I know that, but Professor Higgins doesn't know that. He's still stuck in the 1950's where it was scandalous to kiss a girl's cheek in public and the only time that a male and female should live together is when they're married, but they should still have separate beds." Edward explained as he started to loosen his tie.

"He's been watching too much _Leave it to Beaver_." I muttered – pulling my arms over my head.

"I kind of miss my basketball shorts." Edward hinted. I pulled my back from the bed and smiled at him.

"They're so comfortable," I teased – rubbing the hem between my fingers. I looked back at Edward his tie was off and his white shirt was already unbuttoned.

"I know, that's why I bought them." He smiled at me to show that he wasn't angry with me.

"And this wife beater," I grabbed the strap that was posing as a sleeve. "Is just as comfortable if not more."

"Ok that's it." Edward growled at me before jumping on the bed next to me. I screamed and tried to get off the bed but he was straddling my hips between his knees. He smiled at me.

"Edward," I screamed. "What would Professor Higgins think?!" I tried to reason with him.

"I don't care what he thinks, I want my shorts." Edward growled his hands on the side of my faces.

"I don't think I'm wearing anything underneath them." I admitted as I tried not to laugh.

"Well that's going to be a problem then, now isn't it?" Edward smiled at me. I blushed.

"You're seriously not going to," I trailed off feeling both excited and anxious. Edward chuckled as he leaned his head down so his lips were hovering over my ear – I shivered.

"No sex before marriage." Edward reminded me.

"Of course not," I sighed – rolling my eyes.

"You know my mom warned me about girls like you." Edward continued to whisper.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah," He kissed my cheek. "The type of girl that would try to use peer pressure to get me to do things that I know I shouldn't do." He kissed my cheek again.

"Is that supposed to be an insult or a compliment?" I asked – trying to distract myself from the fact that his hand was now touching my bare stomach.

"I'm not sure," Edward's breath grazed my ear. I yelped when I felt his teeth latch onto my earlobe and he bit down lightly. His finger started to rub circles on my waist as he nibbled on my ear. "Guess we'll never know." Edward kissed my ear before pulling his head away.

"You're a tease," I accused him. He laughed and gave me a peck on my lips.

"I couldn't help myself," He smiled – giving me another kiss. I sighed and pulled myself from under him so I was leaning against the bed frame. Edward sat across from me – the same goofy smile. "Will I ever get my shorts back?" He asked grabbing the hem of them.

"Not anytime time soon." I smiled shaking my head. Edward laughed as he played with the hem. I stared at him. He was perfect. He was cute, funny, nice, and genuinely cared about me. I smiled.

"What happened here?" Edward asked – his eyebrows furrowing. I looked down to see my thigh – he was staring at one of my burns.

"They're old." I lied as I tried to move my thigh away from him.

"Not this one." Edward ran his finger over one of my newer burns. "It looks infected." He grabbed my thigh between his hands and pulled up his basketball shorts up to my waist.

"It's not what you think!" I screamed at him as I tried to pull my thigh away but he only tightened his grip.

"Bella," He looked up at me. "Have you been burning yourself?"

**End Chapter.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"Drugs are a waste of time. They destroy your memory and your self-respect and everything that goes along with your self esteem."

-Kurt Cobain

**The Truth**

"Yes," Bella finally answered my question. My fingers released her thigh and I fought the urge to fall back onto the bed in shock. I knew that she had done this to herself but hearing her admit to it caught me off guard. I swallowed the lump in my throat and tried to gather myself together as I stared at the now crying girl in front of me.

"How long?" I finally forced myself to ask. Bella looked up at me and shook her head. "How long?" I asked – my voice came out sharper than I meant for it to.

"Since I started withdrawaling," She finally admitted.

"Why?" I asked confused why she would put more harm on herself. "Did it feel good?" I tried to understand what was going through her head at the time she made these scars. Bella shook her head answering my last question. "Then why would you hurt yourself?" I asked. I rested my hand on her thigh.

"I got scared," She whispered so softly that I almost didn't catch it.

"You got scared?" I asked desperately. Bella nodded. "Why were you scared?" I asked confused. I've done everything in my power to make her feel comfortable and welcome in my house.

"That you would make me leave if I didn't get better," Bella started to sob. I frowned at her. "The withdrawals were so painful and the urge was so strong that I knew that if I didn't do something to distract me that I would relapse and you would make me leave again." She said more but her voice was too high and broken through the hiccups and sobs that I wasn't able to understand it.

"Bella," I let go of her thigh and grabbed her tear soaked tears in between my hands. "I don't understand a single thing you're saying." She stared at me through wide eyes. "Take a deep breath." I ordered. She tried to breathe through her clogged nose but it didn't work so she opened her mouth and took a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry Edward." Her body shook with each sob that she was trying to hold back. I was afraid that if she didn't calm down she would make herself pass out.

"Bella," I whispered her name harshly. "Breathe," I ordered. She took another deep breath but it was interrupted with another round of sobs. I sighed. I wasn't very good at dealing with girls crying, my first reaction was always to run but I wasn't going to leave Bella. I wrapped my hands around her back and pushed her closer to me. She pushed her head into my shoulder and wrapped her hands around me.

"I'm so sorry." She repeated as her breathing became normal. "I'm so sorry."

"It's ok," I tried to sooth her. But it wasn't ok. She wasn't getting better and as much as I hated the thought she needed help and not the help that I could give her.

--

Edward had call Alice to talk to me about the burns on my legs. I was mentally preparing myself for the long talk that we would have about how stupid I was for burning myself. I sat on the couch with my legs under my bottom. Edward was sitting in a chair across the room and Alice was sitting on the coffee table in front of me. I frowned at them as I waited for someone to say something.

"Bella," Alice broke the silence. "Edward thinks that the reason you're not getting any better is because you're not under professional care." Alice explained. I frowned at her and twisted my face.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Alice took a deep breath.

"We think that you need to be admitted into a rehabilitation center." Edward spoke for her.

"You need to talk to someone that knows what they're doing and can help you." Alice explained what Edward had just told me.

"What?" I breathed out. This I wasn't expecting. "What are you talking about?" I couldn't understand what they were telling me.

"We're going to send you to the rehabilitation center that Jasper went to," Edward explained. "So you can have someone to talk to about your addiction and get better."

"I'll talk to Alice." I jumped to my feet and pointed my fingers in front of me to Alice who was still sitting on the coffee table. "She's a psychiatrist." I looked at Edward.

He shook his head. "You need to be somewhere that's safe-"

"What do you mean safe?" I screamed at him. "This place is safe! I haven't left your apartment in weeks!" The tears that I didn't even know I had were falling down my cheeks.

"No," Edward shook his head again.

"Alice," I turned my body so I was facing her. "You'll take care of me, won't you? I'll even let you paint my toe nails as we talk therapy." My voice was high with hysteria.

"Bella," Alice's voice was soft. "I think this is the safest place for you now."

I shook my head violently – my hair stuck to my tear drained cheeks. "I'll stop hurting myself." I turned back to Edward again. "And I'll stop lying about my parents." I turned my attention back to Alice – who was crying along with me. "My parents aren't really dead. My mom's in Florida with her new husband and my dad's about forty-five minutes away. We can go visit him now if you want!"

"Bella," Alice shook her head. "I can't help you."

"What do you mean you can't help me?" I yelled at her through my tears. "You help teenagers all the time. I'm eighteen! I'm still a teenager!" I screamed at her.

"I'm too close to you." Alice finally explained. "I wouldn't be able to make bias decisions and I would get too attach to your case."

I turned back to Edward. "Please don't make me go." I begged. Edward didn't say anything. The whole room was quiet as I waited for Edward to give his final verdict.

"You're going." He finalized the decision.

"No," I screamed at him. "I'll run away." I threatened. Edward turned his head away from me. "I'll kill myself." I yelled at him as I ran to the kitchen on impulse to find something that would make them realize that I wasn't kidding – though I had no intention of killing myself. I pulled out a drawer and it landed on the floor without a loud thud. Silverware went flying everywhere. I fell to the floor and searched for anything that looked sharp enough to kill myself with.

Strong hands wrapped around my waist and hoisted me in the air. I screamed out in frustration as Edward moved me away from the silverware on the floor. He sat my feet on the ground and I fell to the floor – unable to stand up on my own. I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go away, I wanted to stay here with Edward and Alice and Emmett. I wanted Emmett to call me a prostitute and tell me tell me that every time I turned to my side I disappear. I wanted Edward to tease me and then remind me that he's waiting till marriage. I wanted Alice to hold me hostage in my own apartment and make me watch Disney movies with her as we ate our weight in junk food. I didn't want to go away.

"Bella," Edward fell to the floor in front of me. His hands wrapped around my cheeks. "You need help."

"But I don't want to go." I sobbed. "I'll be good. I promise." I continued to cry in his hands.

"I promise that I'll visit you as much as possible." He pressed his lips to my forehead. "I'm only doing this because I want you to get better. I want you to be happy."

"I am happy," I cried.

Edward shook his head again. "No you're not. These burns," He touched my thigh through my blue jeans. "And this scar," He grabbed my wrist in his hand. "Show me that you aren't happy."

"That's from cutting vegetables." I lied.

"You told me that it was cutting coke." Edward laughed but not the happy laugh the hysteric laugh. I frowned at him before resting my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me and gave my cheek a light kiss. "I'll promise the minute you get out of there, I'll make you a mountain of grilled cheese with chili." Edward smiled at me.

I shook my head. "Please don't." I laughed. "You can't cook. Let Alice cook it."

Edward chuckled before wrapping his arms tighter around me. He gave my neck a light kiss. "Promise me you'll get better Bella." Edward begged.

"I promise." I whispered. And for once, I was telling the truth.

--

"Bella," my new psychiatrist smiled at me. My old psychiatrist retired the other day and so my new one was going to take her place. I smiled back at her – awkwardly.

I had been at the rehabilitation center for a couple of weeks. The food was bad but the patients were supportive. It was interesting to hear other people's stories and share my own. I made a few friends and had fun joking about our acid trips. I was currently in the lead because I was the only person that went to Target at six o'clock in the morning because God told me to.

Edward visited me whenever they allowed visitors. He made sure to talk to my doctors and get full updates on my recovery. I was doing better than I thought I would. He was proud of me. I was currently two weeks away from graduating the program. I was beyond excited and couldn't wait to move back in with Edward.

"I'm Dr. Radford." She held out her hand. My smile grew as I shook it. She was younger than the doctor had before her. She was tall with her auburn hair pulled back in a lose bun. She was wearing a business suit with a skirt instead of pants. "So tell me a little about yourself." She started the session as she took a seat in a chair across from the couch. I looked at my hands and took a deep breath.

"I'm eighteen." I started. "My dad is chief police of Forks, my mom lives in Florida with her new husband Phil."

"Do you like Phil?" Dr. Radford interrupted. I looked up at her and nodded.

"He's ok. My mom's happy, so that makes me happy." I smiled at her.

"Do you and your mom get along?" She asked.

I nodded again. "She's like my best friend." I pulled my legs to onto the couch and waited for her next question.

"Why did you start drugs?" She wasted no time to get into the serious question. I took a second pause before letting out a deep sigh.

"I moved in with my dad when I was fifteen because my mom just got married to Phil and I didn't want to be a nuisance. It was a drastic change to go from big city life to a small town life so I had a hard time making friends." I rested my head on my knees as I recalled the truth. I hadn't told the truth in a long time so it was hard to remember exactly what had happened. "A friend of mine gave me a joint for my sixteenth birthday and I didn't like it." I decided to skip all the boring details and go into my first experience with drugs.

"Why?" The psychiatrist interrupted my story.

"It made me tired, hungry, and I thought too much when I was on it." I explained. "When I told her that I didn't like being high, she offered to get me some other drugs, and I – thinking that because weed wasn't that bad why not try another drugs – agreed to it."

"So you did drugs because of peer pressure?" Dr. Radford try to reason my case.

"No," I shook my head. "I did drugs because I wanted to. She didn't pressure me into doing them."

"But she didn't stop you from doing them either." Dr. Radford tried to defend me. I looked up at her in shock. "She knew the true colors of drugs and she still try to get you to do it with her."

"But it was still my decision in the end." I tried to put the blame back on me.

"True," She agreed. "But you can't always blame everything on yourself. There is a time where it becomes personal responsibility and there's a time where others hold a place in it. She knew what she was getting you into and she didn't stop you but encouraged you to do the drugs instead."

"I never thought of it that way." I smiled at her. She smiled back at me.

"What did your parents say when they found out you were doing drugs?" Dr. Radford continued the questions.

"They never did. I ran away before they could find out." I explained. Dr. Radford's face pulled back in shock and her eyes widened.

"You're dad's chief of police. Surely he must have called investigations or pulled strings to get you back."

"He did," I agreed. "But I had friends in even higher places that helped me escape the police. I hid out in drug houses and tents that were set up in weed fields around the neighborhood. I also hid out in abandon houses or random strangers' houses that bought into my pity act." I explained how I survived the last year living on the streets.

"And that's how you met your boyfriend?" She smiled. I squished my eyebrows together. How did she know about that? She pointed to her notes. I smiled before nodding. "Do you mind telling me about it?" She asked – clearly hoping for a love story with a happy ending.

"Well it all started with a lighter…"

**End.**

I've decided to just post everything up all at once (a lot of people asked me to do it). :)

Thank you for the amazing reviews. This is the last time I'm logging on Stephanie's account.

Also remember to keep the reivews clean my family does read it.

Jo


	16. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_.

"Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.  
It means you have decided to look beyond the imperfections."  
-Unknown

**Epilogue:  
Reunion**

"I don't even get a diploma." I complained as Edward walked me out of my room. "Seriously, I worked my ass off to get sober and I don't even have a certificate to wave in front of people's faces."

Edward rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious Edward! If you worked your ass off to get sober you would want something to wave around something in front of people's faces while you yell 'look at me! Look at me! I can spend years doing drugs and still be a member of society!'"

"What medication did they give you in there?" Edward asked laughing.

"I had too much coffee," I admitted, calming down. "I got nervous so I ate my weight in donuts and coffee."

"I can tell." Edward smiled at me. "So I have a surprise for you."

"Please don't tell me that you decided to make the grilled cheese and chili sandwiches." I begged. "No offense Edward, but you can't cook. You burn cereal."

"You've been talking to Alice again, haven't you?" Edward grimaced.

"That's not the point." I avoided the question. Alice had told me about the time that Edward was cooking breakfast for Esme on Mothers' Day. He decided that if oatmeal tasted good warm than cereal would taste even better. He filled a bowl with cereal and put it in the oven for thirty minutes. The end result wasn't edible, so Carlisle took everyone to IHOP for breakfast.

"That's not what the surprise is." Edward smiled. I stopped in the middle of the hallway and frowned at him.

"Than what is it?" I asked. I had begged and pleaded with him not to get me a gift. I wasn't much of a gift receiving person and he had already paid for my stay in the rehabilitation center, which I had to convince him, was a good enough gift.

"I didn't buy you anything." Edward cleared

"You didn't paint another painting of me did you?"Realization had hit me. He said he didn't _buy_ me anything, he didn't say anything about painting something.

"No," Edward shook his head. I let out an audible sigh of relief. "I found your parents." He added quickly. My eyes widened and my mouth drop. I turned around and started to walk back to my room. "Bella," Edward sighed in frustration. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to put my stuff back in my room because I'm staying here for few more weeks." I didn't turn around to look at him.

"Bella," Edward's voice was closer than I expected. "They want to see you." He grabbed onto my arm and spun me around. I looked at him and swallowed the lump in my throat. The tears that were building up inside didn't waste any time to pour out of my eyes and crawl down my cheek.

"I can't see them Edward." My voice was just a low breath that sounded like words. I swallowed the sob that was building up in my throat.

"Bella," Edward frowned at me. "Renee flew in from Florida to see you and Charlie took a day off of work."

The thoughts of my dad and mom sitting across the table with Edward Cullen talking about my drug problem made me sick to my stomach. There was so much that I wanted to protect my parents from and it looked Edward had ruined my chances of convincing them that I had led a normal and productive life.

"They want to see you." Edward tried to convince me.

"Have you told them…?" I trailed off because I already knew the answer. Edward nodded. I fought the urge to whimper. My heart raced faster than I wanted to so I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "Let's go," I tried to sound braver than I felt.

Edward smiled at me as he grabbed me a little too tightly on my waist. I followed next to him as he held me close to him. We were going to meet my parents. I fought the urge to take off running. I wasn't going to run away. Not again. That's one of the things that they taught me in therapy. I had a tendency to run from things that scared me. And I wasn't going to do that anymore.

"Bella," Edward warned as he pushed me closer to him when I tried to turn around to run away.

"Can we do this when I'm not recovering from a drug addiction?" I asked. Edward shook his head. "Can I at least have a cigarette?" I begged.

"I thought you quit?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

I grimaced. He was right, I was quitting. "Fine," I took a deep breath. "I'll go."

"You act like you had a choice." Edward laughed. I growled at him as we rounded the corner to the lobby. Just like Edward had said, they were there. Charlie, my dad, was dressed in his uniform and kept on staring at his nails. Renee, my mom, was mindless flipping through a magazine. I turned around but Edward grabbed my arm and pulled me farther into the lobby.

"Bella," Edward hissed in my ear.

I frowned up at him before taking a deep breath. Renee was the first one to see me. Her eyes grew into saucers when she noticed me. Something caught in my throat and I went teary eyed again. She hit Charlie's arm and pointed towards me. His head shot up and his eyes widened just like Renee's. I smiled at him before taking a step forward. Edward let go of my arm.

"Bella?" Renee asked her covering her mouth. I nodded. I couldn't say anything. "Oh Bella!" Renee screamed as she threw herself off the chair and ran towards me. Her arms out stretched.

"Mom," I smiled back at her. She locked her arms around my back and pushed me into her body. I slammed into her soft chest and wrapped her arms around her. She kissed my head and rocked me to the side. I snuggled into her chest and pushed her closer to me. Her perfume was just how I remembered it. The sweet smell of Jasmine and vanilla clouded my nose as another strong pair of arms wrapped me and Renee into a tighter hug.

Charlie had never been the hugging type, so it caught me off guard when he hugged me along with his ex-wife. I pulled one my arms away from Renee and awkwardly hugged my dad along with my mom. He gave me a rough kiss on my forehead as he pushed me closer to him. I couldn't tell if I was having a hard time breathing because I was sobbing so hard or because Charlie and Renee were holding me too close.

"Don't ever do that to us again Bella." My dad warned me, not pushing me away but pushing me closer.

"I won't dad." I whispered into his chest. "I promise."

Renee let go of me first. I looked up at her. She was wiping away from her mascara stained cheeks. She smiled at me, europhic from the reunion we were sharing. Charlie pulled away next, his eyes were red with the tears that he had cried. I was pretty sure my face looked similar to his. I smiled at them before turning around. Edward was leaning against the wall, looking everywhere but at us. I smiled at him.

"Have you met Edward yet?" I asked my mom and dad. They both turned to Edward. He pushed himself off the wall and smiled at them.

"Chief Swan," He held out his hand for Charlie. Charlie grabbed it and let go quickly. I had a feeling he wasn't too fond of Edward. "Renee," Edward quickly turned to Renee when Charlie released his hand. Renee wrapped her arms around Edward's neck and gave him a tight hug.

"Thank you Edward." She whispered. Edward hugged her back. I smiled at them – grateful that at least one parent liked him.

Edward pulled away from Renee and stood next to me. Charlie – who had by now wiped away his tears and looked normal – glare at Edward. Edward took a large step away from me and put his hands in his pocket. I furrowed my eyebrows. Apparently, I had missed a very important part of this situation.

"I can't believe you're living together." Charlie voiced his lament. My eyes widened.

"Charlie," Renee growled at him. "You promised."

"You told him?" I screamed at Edward.

"You're living with a boy!" My head shot back to Charlie. "And not just any boy, a boy that's older than you!" Charlie's voice wasn't laced with humor, he was seriously angry at the fact that I was living alone with Edward. Forget about the fact that I ran away from home and just spent three months in a rehabilitation clinic getting help from my drug problem, I was living alone in an apartment with a _boy_.

Renee frowned and shook her head. "I'm so sorry Edward." She apologized to him. I looked up at Edward. He was obviously intimidated by my dad. I frowned back at him before turning to Charlie.

"Dad we didn't do anything." I made sure to get that out of the way. "He's waiting till marriage." I pointed my thumb at him. Charlie's eyes widened with horror. I realized what I said. "And so am I!" I added quickly as I put my hands on my chest. His eyes narrowed at me.

"Please," Edward tried to lighten the situation. "Let me take you out of lunch. It'll be my treat." I couldn't help but giggle as a very over used expression came to mind. _The closes way to a man's heart is through his stomach_. I kind of wandered if that would work on Charlie or not, especially since Renee wasn't a very good cook, and Charlie still had feelings for her.

I grimaced at the thought that we weren't going to have the chili cheese grilled sandwiches, but I was still excited about the fact that I was getting to spend the afternoon with the people I loved. Word got around fast in the Cullen family, so I had a feeling that there was going to be more guests for lunch.

I knew that the conversation about my drug addiction was going to come up eventually, but at the moment everyone was doing everything they could to avoid it. This wasn't the moment to talk about the negative things in our lives but to look at the positives, even if Charlie doesn't see me and Edward living together as a positive.

"Too close," Charlie stepped between Edward and I, even though weren't even close to touching. I looked at Edward around Charlie and mouthed a very dramatic 'I'm sorry.' Edward shrugged and smiled back at me.

"So shall we get going, Charlie?" Edward took a risk by saying Charlie's name.

"Chief Swan," Charlie corrected quickly. I rolled my eyes. "And we should. Bella you can ride with your mother." Charlie told us our seating arrangements. "And Edwin," Charlie put his arm around Edward. "Will ride with me."

"Edward," I corrected him.

"So Edwin," Charlie ignored me. "Have you've ever ridden in a backseat of a cruiser before?"

"No sir." Edward shook his head.

"Well you're about to." Charlie pushed Edward forward as he led him out of the hospital. I gave Renee an anxious look. She smiled politely at me before grabbing my hand. I turned back to Edward and Charlie. They were already out of the door.

"He really loves you Bella." Renee whispered next to me. I turned towards her.

"I know," I sighed. "But he's my dad. He's supposed to love me." I smiled at her.

"Not Charlie," Renee shook her head. "Edward."

My eyes widened and I shook my head. "Edward doesn't love me." I tried to convince myself more than her.

Renee shook her head. "Bella, love is blind and that boy is blinder than a bat when he's around you. He even went up against Charlie." Renee defended her first statement. "But enough about that," She waved her hand in the air to clear the situation. "We have to get going or we'll be late for lunch."

Renee led me out of the hospital to her rental car – which was conviently parked next to Charlie's, who was helping Edward into the back seat of the cruiser. I put my hands on Edward's window after Charlie had closed a door. Edward laughed at me before putting his hand on his side of the window. I fought the urge to kiss the window. I didn't want to piss of Charlie.

"I want him back in one piece." I glared at Charlie. He gave a shrug. "He pays my rent," I reminded him. Charlie frowned at me before walking around his car to the front seat. I stepped away from the car and leaned against Renee's. Charlie pushed a bunch of items onto his driver's seat so it looked like there was no room for Edward in it. I rolled my eyes before turning my attention back to Edward. He was sitting in the back seat with his arms over his chest with a smug expression across his face. He was enjoying this more than he should.

"Ready to go Bella?" Renee asked, opening the door to the driver's side for me. I nodded as I took my seat and quickly buckled my seatbelt.

Edward Cullen was in love with me. The most beautiful man on Earth was in love with a girl that had just come out of a rehabilitation clinic. This moment was too good to be true. There was no way that he was in love with someone like me. I was awkward, clumsy, and had a tendency to lie. He was beautiful, graceful, and always honest. And even if it was true and Edward really did love me, the question still remained: did I love him back?

**End Epilogue.**


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